Wine Tasting!

Leisurely morning. Someone left enough quarters in the shower for a solid 9 minutes of free, warm, luscious, prepaid, cleansing, elixir of rejuvenation. Free showers may just be one of the best road trip experiences ever. Showers in general are nice, but as soon as you have to pay, the shower comes under closer scrutiny. Was it quite as warm as you were hoping? Pressure okay? did it mist a little too much, when you were looking for a more steady stream? floor looked bleached regularly, or just cleaned habitually? These things can temper your shower, and turn it from a joyous morning experience into a mediocre purchase decision. Now ... the free shower can be cold, shoot more water out across the wall than at you, have only one hook to hang up your clothes, and be about the size of a small closet - but it was free - so it becomes a refreshing and character building experience!

made our first real campground breakfast. wait. only campground breakfast. because we're usually up by 6/6:30 and packing the tents to start the day's trek, and who really wants to cook when you're not actually ready to be awake in the first place? Hence, a couple of hours into the drive, when everyone is passable awake, is when we usually eat breakfast ... which for most people would be a normal hour anyway ...

Breakfast - pound of bacon, dozen eggs, quarter loaf of bread, cheddar cheese, home fries, tomatoes, and fresh fruit. Hey - we have a day of Wine Tasting ahead! Commentary on the fresh fruit, while it's up for discussion: California farmstand fruit = salubrious. Think of this: the best fruit that you get from a supermarket (excepting local) has been picked easily 1-2 weeks before it even gets to the supermarket. It is processed, counted, shipped, unloaded, put in storage, put out on display, and hopefully doesn't sit there too many days before you get to it. All oranges are picked green, to prevent bruising when shipped, and sprayed with chemicals that make the outside look orange. true story. The only fruit that actually matures in taste and sugar content after being picked is the banana ... all others slowly rot until they have the texture we associate with ripeness. A ripe Nectarine ... actually not soft at all ... it should have the texture more of an apple than a peach. Fully ripe grapefruit is like eating an orange ... sweet, tender, and juicy. And since everything was only $.99 a pound (!!!!!!) we got two bags of fruit that would blow your mind. or mouth. blow your mouth. strange visual image.

after feasting - we headed in to the land of grapes.

Beginning at 12:30, wine tasting was undertaken.

Donatti.
Zin Alley.
Rotta.
Grey Wolf.
Eagle Castle.
Hunt Cellars.
Dark Star.
Midnight Cellars
Brian Benson.
Castoro Cellars.

Ending at 5:30. you do the math.

average number of wines tasted per site 6-10.
average pour 2 oz.
Food consumed during tasting hours - several stale crackers, shot glass full of small chocolates, mini pretzels.
Liquid consumed - ummm ... wine. don't want to mess up your palate with water or other flavors. duh.
Number of bottles purchased total - 9.
number distinctly remembered - 7.
number of bottles purchased for Erin, for being our DD - 4.
wine glasses collected ... 13.

Dinner - Lombardi's Italian. Wonderful. I even saved some till the next day, just to make sure that I hadn't been unusually biased by lack of food and wine. yep. It was sure good. Get whatever special they have, or whatever says Lombardi on it. It will be scrumptious.

Then, after a mildly frantic drive to find somewhere to scavenge electricity (car power converter pooped out), John and I ended up charging our computers in a random bar, in order to have enough juice to upload his essay and for me to send in his Rec letter!

night at the beach again. glorious.

Windy Road X2

mmm - the smell of Sequoias in the morn! or pines. because you can't actually camp around Sequoias ... they're kind of protected and all.

Did I mention that we came down the windiest road yet (read windy est) ... turns out that you have to come back up it! yep! still insane, even in the light!

Grant Tree - third largest tree by volume. wait ... wtf? there's a Lee tree in the Grant tree reserve? whose idea of a joke is this? might as well have a Cortez tree in the Mayan tree reserve.

Sherman Tree: number 1 by volume! yeah. pretty cool trees. apparently they don't rot, decay, get eaten, or grow fungus. They're too hard and have so many tannins that nothing in the forest wants 'em. They live an easy 3000 years, and then get to take naps on the forest floor for hundreds of years before people with pocket knives finally take then down bit by bit. Resistant to fire, drought, animals, alien attacks, tornadoes, but of course people can find a way around that.

One of the fallen ones was hollowed out before it fell, and was used as a servants' quarters while the park was being explored - then later as a horses stables. yeah. horse stables. inside a tree trunk. think about it. more than just a bunch of trees.

Realizing that we were a few days ahead of schedule ... the vote was made to head to the West Coast! Woot!

a mad drive down a 10 mph recommended hairpin road - where much to everyone's surprise, you did actually have to go the recommended speed - where they had put stone walls up on some parts, but not others, so even that false sense of comfort that comes from knowing that you will probably bounce off of it and stay on the road, is removed - and replaced with the view down a canyon wall and a series of switchbacks that occasionally are marked with a single arrow curved completely around.

And a half hour wait mid-way through to do postcards and have snacks. Apparently they were 'working on the road' to make it 'wider and safer' because it was 'dangerous' ... wouldn't it be simpler to just build a car escalator into the side of the mtn and not allow people to take matters into their own hands and try to drive down it.

regardless.

or guardrail-less.

Sunset on the beaches of San Simeon.

I could stay there. easy. give me a cool million dollars to buy a little cottage a short ways from the shore, and I'd be there at least a year before they repossessed it for not being able to pay takes.

Dinner back at the campground, just a jaunt away from the beach, the surf still so loud that it seemed like it was just outside the tent. really. in a heartbeat. I'm there.

anyway - dinner. 4 pounds of teriaki marinated steak, hand grilled over the fire, green peppers, potatoes, broccoli, cheddar cheese, toast points, guacamole, and cheap wine in preparation for the day of wine tasting on the morrow!

And a family of raccoons tried to sneak out and eat our food while we were eating it. kids - that is why you don't feed animals. they turn rabid, and come looking for easy food, and when they don't get it they go for the jugular, and then you get hospitalized and lose sensation in your toes, and for some reason confuse the letters f and th, saying 'it's your birfday' when singing to friends and family.

beach. good food. beautiful weather. sounds of the ocean. and quarter showers three sites down.

Campground rating: top three overall.

Switchbacks in Nuetral.

More waterfalls.

More Half Dome.

Yosemite will be a good place to come back to with the intention of being serious hikers and backpackers. Some moderate training first could very well be in order. And some real gear. That could be good.

Drive.

Drive.

Kings Canyon at dusk.

Windiest road yet. you see ... you can't really fathom the degree of windiness that these roads exhibit, until you actually drive on them - with a sheer cliff face on one side, a rock wall on the other, and unmarked switchbacks ... unmarked 180 degree turns ... at night, on a road marked for 40 mph, and monkeys throwing stones at you from above.

damn Kings Canyon monkeys.

what drives them to do it?

oh yeah - and this campground has bear boxes and warnings all over too. at least we'd already sorted all the food. and I ate 5 hot dogs for dinner. because everyone else said they were full. and I hate wasting food. and I may die in my sleep from arterial walls bursting. Or a bear eating me ... as I bet I smell like a hot dog now. ... might as well cover myself in honey and go sit on a graham cracker.

Hobo Camp 4.

Kid running around the campground at 7 a.m. in a cape. We are pretty sure he lives there. Morning sunrise - amazing. Sun rising, as the moon is setting, over a mountain range, with a stream in the background, and a free campsite ... it doesn't get much better than that!

It can, however, get much worse. Like ... Lake Mono. First of all - the lake is named Lake Mono. Sign one. we should have turned back. Sign two: there was no real road down to the lake ... dirt road. Obvious sign that so few people really make the trek down to see it regularly enough to make paving worthwhile. "didn't you guys see the signs? I saw the signs..." 5 points for the movie reference, anyone?

Lake Mono in quotes: "Oh my god - what is that smell?", "This sign says that there is supposed to be a 6 foot wide one inch deep ring of flies around the entire lake, but I don't see anything.", "Umm, guys, that black stuff covering the whole shoreline ... it's all flies", "weeee, if you run through the sulfur muck after the flies, they go crazy! hear that deep humming? King of the flies!", "Uh ... it's not coming off my sandals.", "well ... that was ... scenic."

Get in to Yosemite ... go to look for campsites ... yep. all full. Wait ... there's one that says 'walk in campground', maybe that means they are still taking walk ins?

nope.

it means you trek all of your stuff in from a parking lot nearby.

including anything that gives off an odor, to prevent the bears from breaking into your vehicle. 4 milk crates of food, 5 duffels, 2 backpacks, one food bag, two bags of trash, tents, sleeping bags, pillows, tarps. All hiked in to the campsite.

and we got the last spot ... so all of the other people in line got to watch as we trucked stuff in.

possibly the campground that made us feel the most preppy. we're talking hobo camp. 6 tents to a site. one fire pit in the middle. everyone else must have been staying there since last may ... and not showered ... and been on day hikes every day. If you got lost, it might be possible to find your way back by the trail of grime leading to camp 4. I think at some point, the grime just flakes off, that's why same of them looked cleaner ... kind of like a snake shedding its skin.

We also seemed the least active, and least prepared. Everyone had been on at least an 8 mile hike that day, and were taking their time off te go bouldering up cliff faces. Oh yeah, and had thousands of dollars worth of climbing gear, that they were sorting and packing for their major climbing the next day.

I hiked up to a waterfall, then climbed up it, and bouldered along the face. couple of good "where's Eli" photos. possibly a V2/V3 max ... they were doing V5s with one arm. I mean ... inspiring and all ... but let's stop at some different campgrounds with yuppies, so we feel better.

Wandered around Yosemite at nigh for an hour, because some guy told us that there was a great moon viewing spot on some bridge at 8:15 pm. Not around 8. Not 8ish. 8:15. So, we had to go. We knew where we were, and knew that we had passed the spot we wanted twice, and finally got on the bus to let them deliver us there ... yeah ... they went one stop away.

Great moon rise behind Half Dome.

Back to Hobo Camp 4 ... the people that hadn't gotten spots, they were curled in sleeping bags outside of the camp office, in line, waiting to get a spot for the next night. ...If a bear comes, I'll know where to go to watch the carnage. I would think that from a bear's perspective they look like giant twinkies ... tender cake on the outside, creamy on the inside.

plans for tomorrow: truck everything bark out of the campground. find next campground without bear safety enforcement.

Death . . . Valley.

Costco: Breakfast on Samplers, Lunch packs for later, new computer, inflatable swimming pool, and 8 pounds of canned corn.
...except for those last three.

Dick's: New air mattress for the felampers.

Car: drive ... most of the afternoon.

Death Valley: 100+ degrees Fahrenheit. Dry. Under Sea level. Sand dunes made of ultra-fine quartz ... actually so fine that it feels almost wet when you walk on it. Hot. AC required to be turned off to prevent car overheating. I considered trying to cook an egg on the hood. It would have worked. if we'd had an egg.

Car: drive ... the rest of the day, and into the night.

Sierra Nevada Mtns: Camp! dry wood everywhere, great little stream by the campsite, amazing mountains, nearly full moon lighting everything, great moon photos of the stream, cute bridge.

Campsite rank: among top five so far.

Vegas Success.

John and Meg succumb to the shower fees. The rest of us get creative with the sink and handicap stall. With equal results, and comparable timing. Oh yeah. We're good. $10 saved. Plus - I get a haircut! Woot! mmmmm ... new hair ... not shaggy anymore. or scooby for that matter. definitely not velma. ...did I take the reference too far?

New clothes! New hair! New lease on life! ... was there an old lease? who are we leasing from? that's a little weird to think about. can you get a mortgage on life? or use it as collateral for a future investment?

FYI - free parking at Luxor Hotel and Casino. Pull around and park yourself - then head out to the strip ... or do what we do: wander around bemusedly through room after vaulted room of casinos and eateries and shops, following the Exit signs ... which conveniently lead you out of the Casino that you are in, to another neighboring Casino, through an underground walkway, so you never see the sky and don't have any idea what time it is.

Finally exited through Excalibur Mega resort - headed down the strip. Decided that rather than eat each others' hands, we'd find a buffet. Planet Hollywood. There is a reason that they were voted number one buffet in Vegas, and it's not for their Mexican food. Seafood, Steak, Italian, Salads, Indian, Desserts, Southern, Chinese, Japanese, American, Pasta, Bread, Vegetables ... we ate for over an hour. Constant eating. I personally call four plates. Buffet plates. not regular plates. just clarifying.

We rolled out of there - literally - and hit the strip forizzle this time. M&M store - all 4 floors, and the exciting 3D movie; MGM; mini New York; Paris; Bellagio; Ferrari, Lamborghini, and exotic car rental center; postcard shops; okay, so maybe the last one isn't as impressive.

Let's just say that by the end of the night we had a free hotel room at the Hilton with a foyer area, where all of our electronics got charged, Shawshank Redemption (the most rented movie according to recent polls) was watched, and then a CSI marathon. Oh yeah - lots of showers, down comforters, feather pillows, mattresses made of baby smiles and rainbows, and we even may have slept that night.

I really can't tell you everything else that happened ... you understand of course. Vegas.

Beach Moonrise.

A layer of solid ice on the tents. we're not talking, an little frost here. You could actually peel off layers of ice from the tent. Everything was frozen. Even the trees looked less mobile than usual.

After a moderately unsuccessful endeavor to scrape off the ice, then wipe off the residual water, then air dry in the arctic, we packed wet and headed back into G.C. for some morning views - inclusive of, but not limited to: Roosevelt Point and Angels Window Overlook. I think that I freaked an elderly couple out when I leapt over the edge of the canyon ... there was a ledge below me ... but they couldn't see it from their angle ... some mumbling about reckless youth followed, that sounded applicable.

And, with the spirit of road tripping exuberance in abundance, we powered on over to Lake Mead to pit-stop before Vegas!

Also, with our usual flips of luck, we found a great little campground right near the lake, the bathroom didn't smell like death, and the sign said showers!

... oh ... $5 showers? of course they are.

Dinner - on Lake Mead! Enormous moon setting over the beach, fresh mac and cheese, and the ranger was only a little bothered by having to drive down and remind us that the gates lock you in at sunset if you don't leave. ...lock you in? ... doesn't that seem a little ridiculous? I mean ... you're stranded on a beach ... on the reservoir of water for all of Vegas ... sure, you could hop the fence and leave your car there ... but why LOCK YOU IN in the first place?

coyotes howling outside the tent, strange man sat down at our picnic table in the middle of the night whistling, and some definite Whiskey Tango campers sprawling around as if the campground was their home ... maybe it is.

Tomorrow ... Vegas!

Rocks and Tundra.

Arguably the best part of leaving, or entering for that matter, Zion is the rock shops! in particular, seek out the Silver Bear. Best prices, best quality of gemstone, and tons more of it than the cheapo tourist places up the road. Oh yeah - and it's closed on Sunday and Monday. Great timing, huh? Hence - we had to stop at a few other, lesser quality rock shops ... but also found a secret gem in the rough off the highway, where the 'landscape sandstone' was apparently discovered. The sandstone was still too expensive, but I got a few chunks of Septarian and Picasso Stone! $2 a pound ... what a crazy deal.

Oh yeah - and all the other shops that we had tried to get into when it was downpouring, and we went into town (and changed into dry clothes at at weird 50's diner), are now open. None of them open for a rainy day ... not even the pizza shop ... but now: sunny, warm, beautiful day for a hike - all open.

Only slightly gruntled that we had to head out of one of the nicest hiking parks in all of Utah, on a glorious day, the drive to Grand Canyon began!

And it started to get cold.

and colder as we hit Kaibob National Forest.

when the park canger said that the campground was filling up fast, we high tailed it in to grab a spot. and set up camp. in the frigid cold. I'm talking, put on full silk long underwhere, canvas painters pants, thermal undershirt, thermal overshirt, hoodie, outerlayer, baseball cap, and wool socks. before leaving the car. touching the poles to set up the tent ... numbing. we had the chance to buy gloves at the visitors center ... why had we scoffed at the opportunity?

That done - cruise on in to the North Rim center ... where they have casually laid out the shops so that you go into the first one (the worst one) and buy your postcards, then go to the next few, realise your mistake, buy better ones, then head to the last few shops - finally see that these are the ones that actually have decent goods, and don't buy anything because the saloon is right there instead. Hung out in the saloon until we convinced ourselves that it couldn't possibly be as cold outside as we remembered coming in.

it was.

and getting dark.

Probably the coldest night of campground cooking yet. Possibly the best camp meal yet. Smoked mushrooms glazed with olive oil, steamed spinache lightly seasoned, white rice, Annies cheddar mac and cheese, white wine fondue sauce, grilled green peppers, steamed broccoli, wine; and for dessert: homestyle hot cocoa, and of course - smores!

sleeping in all of my clothes in my bag ... not so much fun.

sleeping in the car with all of their clothes and in bags ... probably even less fun for John and Meg.

you could actually see your breath freeze, crystalize, and fall at your feet as a light powder of ice. ...well. it felt that way.

what happened? aren't we in Arizona??

Rain.

You guessed it.

Rain.

downpour.

all day.

headed over to the visitor's center to plug in the electronics and get things charged ... turns out that the town is close enough for free WiFi! score!

headed back to the tents and tarp ... and the river flowing through the camp. and the soggy chairs that were supposed to be covered by the tarp. apparently when there is driving rain, it can get around a slanted tarp. approximately a 1 ft by 4 ft dry area.

the next four hours were spent finding ways of arranging the tarp so that it would dump as much water as possible on me. three changes of clothes later - and I had a full gortex jacket - we were ready to head into town.

an hour later. when we finally got out of the trench that seperates our campsite from the main road. and is exactly the width and depth of on SUV tire. yep. awesome. not at clean spot left. big Shout out thank you goes to John K----- who gave us enough boards to pile up to finally get out of the trench! see you at the balloon festival!

bought three bundles of firewood - had the smokiest fire we've had yet - with supposedly dry wood under a four foot tarp - tied off to the SUV - with a box of wine - and more food for dinner than we could have realistically eaten ...

The womenfolk left with wine and vodka and came back two hours later with "lyle, lyle, virgin" written on Meg's hand ... apparently they had quite the trip on the shuttle ... shuttle doesn't get much night travelers ... I made six pounds of chicken, two boxes of parmesian noodles, used two bundles and the air mattress pump to make a furnace ... to dry off enough towels to have something dry for the morning ... furnace. at least we didn't lose too many towels.

that's the second night in Zion. perpetual damp. needless to say, didn't go on the hike. took some pictures of the rain.

word of the day : MOIST.

Flood Warnings.

Bryce sunrise. wake up at 6:30. get to 'sunrise overlook' by 7:05. does noone recall the lesson from our last canyon sunrise?? took a good half hour - at SUB-FREEZING temperatures - to get the ball of burning gas up and over the mounds of rock. I took pictures of my toes. and the sunrise too.

Hit every other overlook in the park before noon. yeah. we're motivated. what can I say.

Headed over to Zion.

John again claimed that he needed to do his applications ... so he stayed at the campsite. Of which there were only two left, out of the 200 usually there, for the record. We took the shuttle in.

The idea was to hit up a quick trail today, and do the real hike - Angels Landing - tomorrow as a group. Passed the monoliths. Passed the museum. headed in about as far as you can go ... in ... to ... the ... Narrows!

you hike in a mile, till you get to a stream. which is really a small river. and then hike up the river. until you get to places where it is so narrow that only shafts of light can get in. pretty cool idea. still young in the afternoon. tons of time.

hike in - not bad at all ... paved even!

hike up the stream - more than expected ... between 1 and 2 miles of slippery rocks, scaling the sides to avoid deep water, and trudging through frequently to change sides.

signage - good ... there really isn't anfwhere else to go. you're at the bottom of a canyon hole, in a river. lots of "flash flood zone! seek higher ground immediately if water becomes uncommonly rapid, or turns cloudy!" - pshaw. cowards.

pictures - decent ... by the time we actually reached tho Narrows, it was getting late - sun was only really hitting one side of the top canyon rim... nevt time plan for noon.

hike back out - rising water. center water more rapid. starting to get darker. everyone heading in is turning around. ...good timing.

back to john. pretended that he had been working ... but I smelled 4400 in the air ...

since they had called for rain - 70% chance all day long - and there was already signs of potential flooding, John and I set up a tarp over the campfire area. we did not tarp up the tents. we did not dig drainage ditches. we did not park the car in a location to enable tying the tarp off to it. We should have known better...

Down in the Slots ...

Discussion - is it Grand Staircase, or Escalante? Aren't they the same thing? So then ... why are there different signs for each one on the highway, but on the map they are listed as one?

Bryce - beautiful. Possibly my favorite canyon in terms of aesthetic. hiked down into the slots. probably not the best name in the world. we were down in the slots. doesn't sound all that great. kind of like our new name for dinner and lunch combined (a common meal on the road) ... dunch. we were hungry and had to eat dunch yesterday. not really appetizing is it?

hiked for a few hours, you know, to keep the overall stamina up. tried to climb a hoodoo ... turns out that they are much less solid than you might - wait ... did you think they were solid? ... I did - think. almost fell and broke my elbow. after only a few yards up. so I didn't keep climbing. strange choice, I know.

Great campground in the forest. tied the whole bottom of the tent securely in the tarp ... like a huge diaper ... because it looked like it was really going to rain. of course it didn't. if we put on shorts and Hawaiian shirts it would snow. that's why we keep on thermals and fleeces ... or it could be because of the pervading cold and wind.

Bridges. Hanksville. Showers.

2:45 a.m. no. seriously. where is the shovel.

packed camp. back into Natural Bridges. nice hike down into the valley. lots of switchbacks, some wood ladders on the cliff faces, random railings bolted into the rock, where there weren't enough hand-holds - and where it was too steep to put in stairs.

I Hiked up through one of the natural bridges. took almost an hour. turns out that when you are hanging with one set of fingertips, and trying to put your foot where your other set of fingertips just was - you take the time to make sure you're really ready, before making the next move.

stopped when I couldn't really see the group any more. and when they shouted to me to stop. couple good pictures that we call "where's Eli" ... if only i had been wearing a striped shirt. Oh yeah ... and when that huge slab of rock slid out from under me near the top ledge. that was fun. did you know that the rangers rescue hundreds and hundred of people from the top of cliff faces and arches every year, because it's exponentially harder to climb back down crumbly sandstone than it is to power up it.

In an attempt to hit as many Utah N.P. systems as possible - stopped through Capitol Reef. Not in Salt Lake City. and no water. not even a ring of coral. sooo .... the name? apparently it's a new park.

Hanksville! woot! cool name! 1 operable gas station, and two places to eat food ... note that I don't say restaurants. population ... a dozen? Two kids that really should have been in school. for more reasons than that it was a weekday. let's just say huge red sports coat, DARE (to bike naked) t-shirt, ripped jeans, baseball cap backwards, bleached blonde crew cut, huge workboots, coherent speech?, adding?, 15 yr old female.

A lot more driving. because that's what the rest of Utah is - that they haven't made into a national park - highway.

found a little RV park in the middle of the desert. with a swimming pool. and a huge common lawn. free showers. flush toilets. flat sites. water spigots. and an older couple who run the shop and register who could not possibly have taken longer to ring us up. seriously. over half an hour to purchase - not to sign up for, decide on, allocate to - a campsite, just to ring it up.

free showers ... it's like a beacon of hope in the darkness.

Hike.

5:47 a.m. wake up on the lawn of a picnic area in an RV park in Moab. on a slight slope. with no air mattress. fully clothed.

6:08 a.m. completely packed and ready to go.

6:10 a.m. ... attempt to drive through the entrance back out, before they open back up for fees ...

6:11 a.m. even though the sign says that the place doesn't open until 8 a.m. - sure enough there is an old-timer there already awake and moving - who is more than ready to take our money.

6:16 a.m. nice little chat with the gent, wherein several great quotes were taken: "That'll be 16 dollars ... plus 'nother 1.40 for the damn gov'nor" , "Lookin for breakfast? There's a little diner down th' road three lights, on th' left hand side, across from the Ramada. They've got great service, really friendly people waiting tables, nice atmosphere ... hell ... you might even enjoy their food"

6:38 a.m. gas and breakfast snacks.

7:02 a.m. Arches N.P. - visitor's center to fill the water cube.

7:12 a.m. stopped to see the sunrise.

7:37 a.m. sun actually rose. frozen fingers. lesson for the future: the sun rises later if you're in the canyons ... stay in the car until the last minute.

8:02 a.m. Balanced Rock. discussion about the concept that really all of these rocks are balancing ... who decided this one was balancing better than the rest?

8:34 a.m. began a hiking loop to see several of the more famous arches in Arches N.P. easy end, it could be a 2 mi/1.5 hour hike, hard end, a 6 mi/3.5 hour hike.

11:14 a.m. after losing all signs of a trail (including any trail markers, consistent footprint path, or groups of similar hikers) I left the group to go on a scouting mission. nearly 45 minutes later, and over a mile of looping over, in, and out of fingers, narrows, and slopes, I found an arch that looked like it should be on the map. It wasn't. But I hiked everyone up to it, and subsequently found the trail while they rested.

4:04 p.m. end. over six hours of hiking, climbing, actual running, and nearly dying in the heat. 10 miles of sand, rock, cliff, arches, and ftrail (fake trail ... like fleather).

4:05 p.m. noticed that the hike is named the Devil's Trial. good call. next time, a few trail markings within a 15 minute radius of any given point on the map would be nice ... if you wanted to stay on the trail that is. Or is that not the point of a trail?

4:10 p.m. decision to screw Canyonlands. let's sit in the car with AC for a while.

6:48 p.m. Bridges N.M. looks cool. oh. what's that? the campground is full? right. of course it is. Overflow camping is 25 miles down an old dirt road into the wilderness, and all human waste must be disposed of in a 6inch or deeper hole, no fires, and it's mostly covered in large loose gravel? sounds peachy.

7:24 p.m. camp. yep. gravel pit.

7:53 p.m. total darkness. fun with at flashlight.

8:23 p.m. where did I put the shovel?

Hike of Potential Dismemberment or Fines.

Goodbye civilization for a bit (or at least, so we thought...) and Hello Utah park system!! Lets go hike a canyon!

But first this 6 hour drive to get there...

right. forgot that Utah is kinda spread out, with n.o.t.h.i.n.g in between. I mean besides cow ranches. and a view of the mountains.

So - of course we hit Canyonlands N.P. and cruise up into it about 53 miles. great scenery, crazy winding road that takes you right up to the edge of enormous Buttes ond then whips you back over the top to the other side ... posted speed limit was 25 ... with recommendations of 15 mph or lower. silly mortals. and I wasn't even driving.

Now ... the campsite that we wanted to stay at - turns out that even though it is the main one at the park, there are only 12 sites. total. and they were all reserved hours before we even got there. you might figure that someone would tell us when we passed into the park. or that they would put up a camp Full sign. or that a ranger would politely recommend that we go stake camp first, before traversing over 50 miles of severe terrain in a leisurely fashion, taking photographs, instead of taking care of task one: set up camp. ... you would think.

So - instead, with about 2 hours of sunlight left, we decided to try to hike 2.6 miles out and down one of the Buttes to a campsite planted square in the middle of the canyon floor.

Half an hour later, loaded down with all of the gear that we could possibly not do without, more food than we could realistically eat in the next 14 hours, about 2 gallons of drinking water total, no map, but personal ID and a cell phone for each person, we set out. Hit the trailhead, set a decent 20 minute mile pace - considering that we were laden with all of our gear, and had not done any moderately serious hiking yet. Set off in the direction of the trail ... and promptly found that there were no trail markings. After several minutes of scouting ahead (since there were footprints damn near everywhere, we couldn't use that approach) I found us some trail markers ... and we continued. Picture taking and scaling random boulders to pose atop took some extra time ... but over a mile later ... and with about 45 minutes of sun left, we hit the edge of a 1500 ft Butte. with no way down. sheer cliff face on all sides. no more trail markers. We checked with a few fellow hikers from Holland, and they confirmed that the other trial which we could possibly have stumbled upon instead, they had already been on, and takes you to a different Butte ... the trail just ends.

okay ...

with binoculars, we could see the actual campsite ... easily 2 miles off in the distance ... and no way down.

After a good 15 minutes of me running along the entire edge of the canyon in search of an elusive way to scamper down, and a call in to Uncle Bill to find out that the fine for disobeying park regulations (inclusive of camping outside of a designated campground area) is $5000 dollars, we decided to head back to the SUV and sleep in the parking lot. Almost no sunlight - as it had already set below the mountain range, a solid mile of hiking across the top of a Butte to go, all of our gear to trek back out ...

when we followed the markings back in ... and ended up next to the wrong side of the trailhead sign ... we knew that the Hollandaise had been wrong (pass the blame). This had not been the trail/ to the campsite. at all.

5 minutes of searching the opposite side of the rim for a trail marker ... I found one. one. set down in a crevise, between two boulders. and then one more, partway down the cliff face. That said ... the actual trail was really nice, with huge steps cut into the side, moderate switchbacks, and a great view the whole way down. But ... you basically had to know that it was there in the first place.

Back at the car.

in the dark.

with gear that now smelled like real campers.

multiple cans of vegetables and graham crackers.

and the proposition of sleeping 4 people in one car, where every available space not already dedicated to seating had already been used for some sort of luggage or apparel.

TomTom - so newly put into play (gift from Colin) said that the nearest places for food or camp were outside the park ... Moab ... 50+ miles away. back along that road. in the dark. sheer cliffs. Apparently we lived. I credit a large part of it to luck - and the rest to that John knew there was pizza at the end, so he just couldn't die.

we may never go back into Canyonlands. ever.

Oldschool Phones and Spirals.

Brunch with Colin! 'Training Table' ... with the name and as he said that it was somewhere that a lot of base people go, we were expecting a military themed experience ... but - no! Sweet little diner-esque place without waitresses! More on that: we had just been having a conversation about same of the terrible service that we had gotten - due to that we smell like road, look like campy campers, and our age group doesn't usually tip that well. Anywho - you sit down at these booths, where ever you want, menus are on one end of the booth - and so is a 1960s brown phone ...

Supposedly, you pick up the phone to order ... so ... of course I had to test this. And yes! the phone rings - a cook plugs in to an enormous switchboard in the back - and they answer! No milkshakes. So I hung up.

Order - go get the food - bring whatever condiment bottles back you want - sit down - eat away! Actually really decent food! great fries! great burgers ... all in all, an excellent choice!

Back to Colin's, and somehow managed to resist the chance to sit on a real couch, with a 65 inch SRXD Sony TV, in a real apartment, with super cold AC, and collapse. We did leave John there ... under the impression that he was going to work on his application for med school ... suuure.

So the rest of us ventured off into the primitive Utah wilderness - following a two page script of directions that Colin made in his room while we were all sedated - trying to subvertly lead us all to the 'public shooting grounds', while seeming to be leading us to the famed 'Spiral Jetty' of Art History textbooks, out among the Salt Flats. After a good hour of driving, we found ourselves at the end of a 'road' in Salt Flats. The only reasn to call it a road, is because other cars had driven it before us. Let us here-to-for refer to it as the 'boulder strewn car-sized pathway of axle mangling holes and mayhem'. Colin just smiled. He secretly knew all along. That's the real reason we didn't take his car, even though there were only four of us total. Diabolical, yet practical.

So, we found this 'Jetty' ... load of nothing. barely a whole curve left of the spiral ... long walk out to get to the end, and just a huge salt flat of nothingness. I mean ... we walked out to the end and stmped in salt puddles ... but kinda disappointing ... hey ... wait ... does the road keep going out that way ... ? ... is that even a road?

okay ... I guess we'll find out ... it's an SUV, right?

Hey! A spiral jetty! Woohoo! In the middle of the Salt Flats (which apparently is one of the locations that Norton gets thier salt...). sweet! ... now, is there anywhere to turn around?

Turned around ... without poppig a tire ... somehow ... Colin walked a half mile off the road to get the tourists who decided to park on the road because they might hurt their SUV by pulling off. Like it wouldn't have already bottomed out on the actual 'road'. That done - carpets, couches, cool air, complementary wireless, in Colin's apt await!

Hibachi dinner - supercool - flying shrimp, fire volcanoes, eggs and knives twirling, and sushi bundles! And let me tell you ... two full meals in one day, AC, and a fluffy carpet to sleep on ... we were all in heaven! We almost didn't leave the next morning ... and almost cut a piece of carpet out from under his couch to take with us ... I mean, it'd get shipped back when we were done ...

Barbados or Park City?

Bear Lake!! Imagine, if you will, driving through the barren wasteland that is the desert of middle Utah - and suddenly, as if through a dehydrated mirage, Barbados springs up in the distance. At first, you're not quite sure ... is that just a strange toxic wasteland at the base of that mountain over there? Or is it a function of how the heat differential bends the light from the blue sky over a flat distance, due to the fact that blue light bends more easily than red when shifting through a medium change, according to the principles expressed in Snell's Law. Recall that c=(lambda)*f and that n1*sin(theta1)=n2*sin(theta2), so if we are moving from a high density medium to a low density medium light will bend away from the normal. right? just checking. pay attention - these things actually do get used in real life ... or at least in my head, in real life.

So, you get closer and closer, and it turns out that yes! There really is an enormous, crystal clear, turquoise, tropical lake in the middle of Utah! And since everything in Utah revolves around private clubs and mini resorts, there was no real way to access it!

... no way that is ... unless you were willing to got a little dirty on the way. Road signs passed on the way in - 'MUD AHEAD', '5MPH MAX SPEED', 'ROAD DAMAGE'. But the lake was amazing! We had to restrain ourselves from camping there (on the far edge of some farmer's wheat field), just because it is NOT Barbados. And even though it looks amazing and fun - we don't have enough money to go Skidoo racing for a dollar PER MINUTE!

Barbados - goodbye. Salt Lake City - hello.

Shout out to Lee Tucker! Woot! Clubbing Utah style!
... and to using Brent's future room as a crash pad!

The only thing that you have to remember when heading downtown in Utah is that 'Yes, I am a member.' and 'Yes, I already paid my membership fee.' and don't look at the walls of the bar - keep your eyes straight ahead, like you go there all the time, and immediately order a drink ... but not two at a time. And not odd numbered shots - they charge you more than for an even number. And remember that a shot really is 1-1.5 ounces here ... pony shots ... and don't expect a lot of fancy bartending bottle tricks ... even the Jose is shot out of a fountain gun! When we were done, we had all been acknowledged members of a good half a dozen private clubs. Next time Tucker, let's start at the top of the hill in Park City and work down, instead of the other way around!

Yellowstone and Tetons!

Yellowstone.

basically, the pictures say it all!

:)

oh yeah, and then we went to Grand Tetons. Just think of the shots that we got with Yellowstone during the day, and Grand Tetons for the sunset. oh yeah.

but seriously, I'm about 10 days behind here still, and a picture says a thousand words. So, since I usually write at least a thousand words, I'll just upload a few pictures later!

Tracking ...

The 32 beans - turned out wonderful - diced up a yellow onion, minced some garlic, seasoned ... and the half pound of bacon may also have helped! Some bacon wrapped chicken and a side of Parmesan noodles made the meal a success! ... of course the beans didn't cook for as long as I would have liked - but the flavor was all there. Ended up buying some firewood for a campfire ... I think they must super-dry it in a furnace, then infuse it with gasoline ... because it always burns instantly and suddenly the whole bundle is gone! At least it lasted long enough to roast the chicken on!

really, really, cold though. i.e. as soon as the fire was not roaring, we all left and went to bed. Cold. luckily, I have a super warm mummy bag (with built in pillow!) so I fell right asleep and woke up early! Well ... technically, Meg woke up before me, but she has an alarm, since she wanted to go see the sunrise - which we did - and everyone agreed that it was too cold to stay awake - even with the glorious day, so they headed back to camp.

Sunrise coming up over the lake, I figured, why not head down to the lake? Needless to say, it is significantly colder ON the water, than just looking AT the water! I had to keep my battery under my armpit to make sure it was warm enough to take a picture when I needed it! So, after wandering around on the lake for a good half hour, I came across a large fresh track! Bear! Sweet - we had heard that there was a mother bear and cub in our general camp area, and to watch out for it - so of course I followed the main track for a few yards ... and what did I find ... another smaller set of tracks! Well - now the game was on!

I tracked them up the lakeside, up a small overhang, across the main road, and kind of lost them there ... wandered through the woods for a little while and found a set of tracks that looked relatively fresh ... that day for sure ... but definitely older ... and followed those deeper into the woods, coming across several major sleeping areas, places where they'd eaten, and where ALL the trees were covered in bear hair easily fifteen feet up! matted in bear hair. followed tho tracks in amongst the trees, out into some fields, under trees, found pretty fresh scat, kept tracking.

Almost died when a jackrabbit lept out from a log behind me and thumped down right next to me. I didn't even move the camera.

Came to a conclusion after tracking for over an hour in the woods - bears are lazy. Occasionally I would lose the trail - and all you have to do to find it again is look for the easiest path that leads away from where you are. Go over a tree? nope. Through a shrub? nope. Back up the path a little ways to level side trail? yep.

Finally, after about an hour and a half, I had followed the moderately fresh tracks up to some very new ones! Excellent! I followed these with renewed relish, some ketchup and a touch of deli mustard. over a field, through the woods, across a road, and right up to ... the lake. yep. tracked myself right back to the original prints.

On the one hand ... I was pretty impressed that I did manage to actually track that much. But a little disappointed that I didn't get a glimpse of the bear ... until I took a closer look at the only clean set of tracks at the lake ... and counted the toe/claws ... and realized that I was one toe short of a bear in my quick initial assessment ... I had been tracking an enormous wolf! good thing my tracking skills aren't better honed ...

Roadwork and 32 Bean

Drive out looked like VT ... until the trees suddenly end and you are in huge hills and rocks ... and then those end and you are in plains for as far as you can see ... then those end and you are back in mountains ... crazy geology.

On the way in to Yellowstone we saw a lovely Moose couple sauntering along the side of the road. Really saunter is the only way to describe a moose meander - basically it's a way of saying, 'hey, I'm bigger than your SUV, I weigh as much as a large boulder, and have nowhere pressing to be.' nice couple. they said hello, and then continued up the ridge trail to munch some buds.

We then spent a good 45 minutes hanging out at on a random hillside on the road, because the road was 'damaged' and they were doing construction ... before a high volume weekend ... during the late day, when everyone goes in to campsites ... with One Pilot Car that has to lead you up and back and up and back, one group at a time ... because we can't be trusted to drive? thanks guys. great timing.

Now we have to set up the tent in the dark. And I was hoping to make a delicious 32 bean stew, in the still young twilight, over a gregarious fire, while musing on life's great simplicities and noting the plentiful wildlife - that just might, if I started in a decent key, break into song with me!

... ummm. dark though. and frigid. 32 bean over the campstove?

VT = Ringside Seating.

Scenery aside - since it was beautiful, and there is no need yet to go into detail repeating that - the additions to Mt Rushmore need to be heavily credited. 56 Million dollars spent on parking, museum, theatre, gift shop, etc ... but the cream of the project was the new Presidential Walkway. A long open topped corridor lined on both sides by huge square granite columns. on each side of the columns was an inscription of the state represented, and the state flag flying above it. through all of this, you could still see Mt Rushmore beyond and above - rather excellent cropping effect. Meandering up the pathway, we spied a handful of the states that we had already passed through, Jersey about halfway down ... no VT, but we weren't really searching through both sides ...

and then... having reached the end John and I turned (always waiting on those girls ) and the very first column - the side facing Mt Rushmore, right side, - VERMONT! wooooooooooooot! we get the view and the public location. We figured the granite must have came from VT, and they put 'best spot for flag' on the contract!

Walked up the requisite pathway, tried to pick Washington's nose in a picture, almost fell off the guardrailing doing so ... ankle a little sensitive still, remember? That Borglum ... crazy bugger ...
gutsy. or Gutzon ...
Gutzon Borglum
interesting ...
impressive ... and he did it under a million dollars total. hard to imagine anyone doing any sculpture now for under a million ... I mean, we have a huge bean for 25 mill. Think about what it would cost to carve a mountain now-a-days?

Speaking of which - Crazy Horse! You think that regular Americans want everything bigger and better, and monuments like Rushmore and the Washington Obelisk are over the top ... just think what the REAL Americans must want. That's right, the American Indians are taking not just one cliff face, but the entire Mountain, and turning it into a sculpture of the Lakota War Chief! When completed the Crazy Horse mountain carving will be 641 feet long by 563 feet high. Crazy Horse's completed head is over 87 feet high. The horse's head, currently the focus of work on the mountain, is 219 feet or 22 stories high. ........Mt Rushmore could fit inside Crazy Horse's head easily!

Now - the original premise was for a monument to Crazy Horse, and the American Indian in general, and to show the world that they have pride and resources as well. Cool. Fine. Built by people inspired, for people to be inspired by. Also good. Completely funded by donations from the public ... also a decent ideal ... since that means that only people who believe in it give money ... but to turn down, Twice, Government donations of 10 Million dollars in grant money ... that just seems a little too prideful, and self defeating. It has taken over half a decade to carve the face. It will probably take another fifty years or more to do the horse head ... sure, that sounds awe inspiring ... but look at the master plan for the monument http://www.crazyhorse.org/story/future.shtml easily Billions of dollars just in construction costs! why not get a little hand up, so that by the time the real museum is built the artifacts are still salvageable!

Just an idea. Stubborn Americans.

Pulled into the 'Rod and Gun' campground in the Black Hills - actually one of our best campsites yet - and foraged for wood! Since we left the hatchet in Pittsburgh the larger logs were ravaged in a beaver-like fashion by our trusty hammer, until they resolved into manageable pieces. Met a couple from Minnesota and I won a $5 bet by officially coining the term 'Felamper' in normal conversation. Etimology: fellow camper. I think they just thought that I was crazy.

Played chubby bunny. oh yes. I won. Come on - did you really think that anyone else had a bigger mouth? Pictures to come ... one of these days we need to hit a random spot of highspeed wireless ... because $5 for 15 minutes of mediocre net-cafe service is not acceptable ...

16.5 hours ...

The original setting : Chicago, IL.
The plan : drive until the rain (which has just started) stops, and we can set up dry camp.
The drivers : me.
The time : 4:24 pm

I had driven into Chicago in the first place, and to be more than fair, the ladies drove most of the way from Pittsburgh. so I don't count that in the overall timing.

It began simply enough. find somewhere dry. but lurking in the back of everyone's minds was that no matter where we stopped for night' the next day would be spent almost exclusively driving the remainder of the 14+ hour stretch from Chicago to the Badlands. ... and a small demon said to me ... what if you just did it all tonight while it's dark? it can't really be that bad ... you stay up all night plenty ... just kick it up a notch and play 'born to be wild' as much as possible. think of the time saved. and the small angel said ... yeah - why not - who wants to set up camp in the dark anyway!

Because by the time we made it far enough out of the rain for everyone to feel happy about it not raining us out during the night, it was well into night. John was ready to start drinking, Meg was tired, and Erin can't see at night ... so when we stopped at a convenience/liquor/gas station the only possible scenario played out.

So at 2:36 in the morning I was the official sober spotter for the game 'drink when you see a speed limit sign' ... turns out that the highways in Minnesota post them in pairs on both sides of the road ... it got to the point that we needed another game if I was going to have company for much longer. 20 questions turned out to provide over 2 hours of puzzling pleasure ... everyone somehow picked really good ones ... shirt button, asparagus, griffin, bat, tire, clothespin, window .... tons more ... we went two cycles through the car without anyone hitting the object ... these were the ones that I still somehow remember, so I figure we got a few of these.

5:05 a.m. crashed the early-bird special regulars at the Blue Diner somewhere in South Dakota. I'm not usre if they were upset or not. we were loud. and possibly obnoxious. and less than sober. and looking very strung out. so they were nice to us - except for selling me an m&ms cookie that must have been sitting on the counter since the cold war, because I could barely break it in half to attempt to eat it.

I had two 32 ounce Vitamin drinks. They ate food. bad idea. food = sleep at 5a.m., and they really should have known better ... or maybe that's why an enormous blue can called the Blue Demon, easily as tall as John's head (because we took a picture of the comparison) was also purchased.

by 5:26 they were all so far into food comas that we resorted to telling the worst jokes that we knew as fast as possible to stay awake.

5:34 they took shots of the energy drink to regain consciousness, and for a fleeting few minutes were wide awake and unsettlingly full of energy. same singing may even have spontaneously occurred ... I'm not really sure, as I started to find it hard to understand why the world was still black.

5:42 they all passed out. cold. logs to the world.

6:34 ........the thing about staying up all night and driving that is different from staying up writing a paper, or playing video games, or hanging with friends is that you can't really look away. ever. you are stuck, in a seat, holding a wheel pretty much straight for hundreds of miles, driving through the dark of Minnesota, and there is really nothing else that you can do to occupy your mind elsewhere ... and really ... if you did manage to ... you are supposed to be driving. snap out of it. It's the not leeking away that eventually does it I think. you can use your mirrors, glance out the window, but some part of your eye is constantly assessing the road. So, when I saw an Indian run into the road and fall under my wheels without making a sound, and then thought that the lines on the exit ramp were a car stopping in front of me ... I pulled off the road and curled up in a little ball in the front seat. 20 minute power nap, and a jog back and forth, up and down the isles of the gas station, and I was set to keep going!

8:46 a.m. Erin wakes up. like a crazed Tasmanian devil. Apparently, the caffeine and sugar had not actually reached through the food layer the first time round. Somehow, looking back and seeing her literally bouncing off of the car walls caused a wave to pass through my optical processing plant. I started to only hear her in little squeaking noises ... possibly this was actually the sounds that she was making ... but no one else was awake to verify. On the off chance that the chirping and waving lines on the road were fictions of my delusion, and not real, I pulled off at a rest stop somewhere in the western half of South Dakota and promptly fell out of the car and collapsed by the side of the road.

9:12 still awake. why? do I want breakfast? where are we going? was that just the South Dakota Hall of Fame ... a one story library sized structure, haphazardly tossed by the side of the national highway? weird. South Dakota looks much different when there's light on it.

The final setting : Information center, South Dakota.
The plan : drive until someone lucid finds a campsite.
The drivers : anyone not named Eli.
The time : 9:24 ... and still not at the Badlands.

Badlands.

I can see haw as a settler, coming in with a wagon and horses and without the benefit of a well paved four lane scenic highway with convenient viewing pulloffs, they might call it the badlands. But it is basically an enormous playground for every kid that at some point in their life liked climbing things.

Go for it. leave the path. climb around unsupervised through canyons and rocky outcroppings. just bring water and try to stay within shouting distance. have fun! and did we ever. badlands = junglegymlands. jumping, climbing, sliding, clambering, stretching, posing, goofing. sure there's a safe path marked out with yellow stakes ... but what fun is that?

after jumping off of a good 10 foot outcropping down onto cement-hard rock ... that for some reason I thought would be soft clay (no sleep yet) and twinging the ol' ankle sprain, I only climbed a few more moderately life threatening peaks - including a boulder balanced on top of a peak, on the edge of a ridge - before heading back to the campground. The pictures are well worth the slight self questioning that preceded them - 'if I fall down the side of a ravine in South Dakota now ... that kind of mucks the entire trip ... but will I forgive myself for not taking full advantage of the opportunity to scamper about like a Spaulding shod mountain goat?

campsite in the middle of the mountains. huge open plains area. dry. tons of sunlight left for setting up camp, cooking, relaxing, going back up the mountains for an incredible sunset. bisons everywhere on the slopes next to our site, roaming the hillsides in a decidedly sedentary fashion. good bathrooms. shaded picnic tables. and it was all free!

glorious campsite. amazing park. one of those gems that you didn't actually expect to be nearly as great as the tourbooks say, and then it overshoots that mark in so many ways. Who would have thought there was something in S.D. other than Mt Rushmore and a capital that sounds like an impolite Frenchman?!

The Bean!

Pittsburgh behind us, we headed off towards Chicago, IL. Being fiscally conscious, the toll road was avoided, but an equally appealing and possibly shorter route was taken. all seemed set to get in around 11 am and have a pleasant lunch ... that is, until we hit what we thought was lunch traffic. Very perceptibly the rate slowed ... and slowed ... until we were actually stopped for so long that I put the SUV in park and considered a quick jaunt to stretch my legs. we were just outside of Chicago ... must have been an accident? Google maps showed nothing ... oh ... wait ... is that the road that we are on that shows a total red line for the entire section that we are stuck in? yep. Apparently, rather than do construction on their major highways at night like some considerate states, Illinois shuts down a three lane highway to one lane. during the middle of the day, with an overabundance of semis pleasantly nudging you ahead with 7 tons of encouragement.

We parked at the McDonalds on the main drag at 12:43. Since we have the extremely useful and life saving Thule rack with 21 cubic feet of added storage - which allows the rear mirror to be used on frequent occasion - it raises our total height to a hand over 7 feet. what height are ALL parking garages set to as a max? 7 feet. needless to say, McDonalds was the only parking under $37 for 3-4 hours that you could pull into. they still charged $18 ... even after we went in and purchased some chicken nuggets (side tangent about nuggets ... nugget of gold, nugget of truth, but the root is still a lump of rock, or pure substance ... how does that fit? sure, chicken lumps, chicken clods, or chicken stones don,t have quite the same ring for a similar terra root ... but nugget?) to appease their parking validation verification.

That done, and us seated expectantly at the original UNO's pizzeria, the only question was just haw ravenous were we from not having eaten yet that day? If you have not ever had a 'real' deep dish Chicago style pizza, it will not seem at all impressive that John and I ordered a Medium and managed to eat all but one and a half slices. the crust edge was easily 4 inches thick, and ever topping was piled inside like a crazy italian casserole. you could not eat this without a fork and knife. a meal unto itself. you could easily live off that pizza and a glass of orange juice. done. no more thinking about food again ever.

but the real highlight was, as per the title heading, THE BEAN. Or, as the artistic mastermind who managed to get funds in excess of 25 Million dollars to create it would like it referred to as, 'the cloudgate'. It is 220,000 pound, highly polished and seamless stainless steal bean. and it is better than any house of mirrors. Despite the many requests for pictures in general, I simply have to wait until I can edit them down enough to post. I have taken over 600 so far. the others combined I am sure are close behind. and catching up too fast!

back to the bean. imagine Escher meets Dali meets someone who apparently could talk his way into a wallet filled with 25 million dollars to construct a huge mirrored bean in the Millennium park. we stayed there for over an hour, just figuring out new ways to take distorted pictures with it. including, but not by any means limited to falling onto one side, handstands, walking up a side while saying down, putting it in the palm of your outstretched hand, posing with your reflection, and just staring transfixed at the interior dome. The birds sitting on top adding their finishing touches lessened a small part of the mystical quality - but in terms of sheer pictorial interaction and amusement - well worth it!

I gave the left over pizza to a sidewalk warmer with a cute cat, we passed a building whose walls are made of blocks that contain pieces of other famous buildings' walls - super cool, and after musing what could possibly force McDonalds to put up FOUR signs on their escalators "for your safety, no crocs are allowed on escalator", we sloughed off into the sunset. well. it was raining. really our plan was just to drive until it stopped raining, so we could set up camp relatively dry.

and with such modest beginnings, the drive commenced.

Not go overboard?

The morning that we decided to stay in Pitts, I made a little breakfast for us all - since Sat is D&B’s only day off together. And by little … fresh sliced tomatoes with salt, bacon strips, breakfast sausage links, French bread with fried cheese, scrambled eggs, fried stuffed peppers with melted mozzarella, orange juice, coffee, carrot cake.

Hence, I was told to go a little easy on dinner. So, when we left for the butcher store - I let Dave pick out the meat. delightfully, we left with 12 pounds of double cut pork roast, several chicken breasts, button mushrooms, and fresh frosted raisin bread. Then we simply had to visit Joseph P. King’s Farm to chek out some fresh edibles. Excellent selection, great little farm, nice family.

So we bought a bunch. Well … pints, not bunches, but you get the idea.

And, Dave recently had an apple tree fall in his backyard … so it would have been improper of me to not take out a hatchet and make smoking chips out of the branches. And with a little help from some soaked mesquite chips, we had enough to smoke for about 7 hours with. And it was thick, sweet, and flavorful smoke indeed.

The roast was rubbed with a cajun seasoning medley, topped with thick slices of sweet onion, and three apple halves speared on the top, with wedges of garlic loves pierced into the top and sides. Left to smoke for 6 hours. When I cut into it before plating the meal, it was like cutting into a melon. Juicy. Tender. Beautiful.

The chicken was marinated in Octoberfest beer, salt, pepper, and minimal spices, then smoked for an hour. Over a pound of btton mushrooms were brushed with butter, salt and pepper, and smoked for an hour. Basically, they were little brown bombs of smoke juice. If there had been any more left, I am sure that they would have gotten even more intense the next day. An entire full grill of zucchini that smoked for over half an hour, and a huge cast iron skillet full of cornbread with fresh butter.

Oh yeah, and I made a vat of roasted red pepper, tomato, ancho chili soup - that simmered for four hours - served with a sprinkle of mozzarella. And maybe we also had a dozen sweet corn with melted butter and salt. And blueberry pie. And apples. And orange Kool-aid and Octoberfest and Heineken.

… so maybe I didn’t ‘take it easy’ with dinner. But really. Do you think they complained?

Violet is the definitely the cutest baby in the state of PA … probably the whole east coast … possibly the country. We took lots of pictures. And of Omar too. Because you have to love a teddy ear disguised as a rottweiler.

And so. Back on the road! Tents folded and dry and packed with fervor!

Pittsburgh the grey.

So. We decided to stop in Pittsburgh and see Dave and Becky and Violet - and experiment with group camping on a lawn, instead of the middle of Indiana. No problems … except that our mattress has a small leak … and needs to be re-firmed halfway through the night … because you are touching the ground. We have a patch kit - so next stop that we have a little time, that will be attempted.

Since every time that we see D&B I tend to go my usual overboard on the food. Well … whenever I have a kitchen I seem to do that … and pans … and decent ingredients. Hmm … well, that aside. First night we wanted a quick dinner, so after a quick shopping spree, we mounded the table with produce aplenty and began the demolition. And within one hour, including plating, we had the requisite several course meal.

-four cheeses and crackers plate, including a remarkably spicy monterey jack.
-Caballero and red peppers filled with sausage stuffing and mozzarella
-cool lemonade with designer elongated ice cubes, and neon straws.
-Eggplant parmesan with Italian breading and a four cheese meat sauce, over spaghetti with a light drizzle of olive oil and fresh parmesan cheese.
-two bottles of sauvignon blanc from new Zealand, and a magnum of Little Penguin cab/merlot blend. Which I said … hmmm … this tastes really like a cab, with a lot of blackberry fruit. And then read the label. Which says 70% cab - and strong blackberry notes. Too bad I didn’t smell that it was grown in a lush California valley by a family with a long lie of quality and taste - but if I could smell the vintners, I think that would be a problem.
-Side of three breads - fresh garlic bread with mozzarella and Italian seasonings, garlic bread with sausage stuffing topping, and sausage stuffing bread with mozzarella.
….can you tell that I made WAY too much sausage stuffing mix?
-Lemon cakes with a butter cream frosting for desert … but we had to wait nearly 2 hours after eating to manage those.

The eggplant came out awesome though. Thick, meaty, full of flavor. Organic just seems to be a little better for some produce. Not all, by any means … but the last eggplant that I got from the chain store turned to mush in the middle instead of staying pleasantly soggy yet structured.
Then, after a rousing few rounds of blackjack - wherein Erin won almost every hand - and got a perfect 21 easily 75% of the time, we retired.

Around 4 a.m. the thunder and lightening began. Around 5 the rain started. And by started, I mean spat at us a little - just to test the resilience of our waterproofing - and then rained continuously through till noon. We were going to tear down and make for Columbus, OH first thing in the morning … well … let’s be honest. The only person who was even motivated enough to wake up was Meg. And after deciding that packing the tent in the rain would be about at as exciting as smelling spoilt milk to make sure it really is bad, we lazed.

… and went shopping again.

NJ.

Chillaxin' in NJ for the past two nights. Hittin' up the Harcar residence. You know how we do. Crank up the AC, play a little wii, stay up till all hours of the night. yep. this is the road trip life.

oh yeah - and finally pack everyone's stuff in the SUV. because we just had the two of ours before. and it was pretty cozy. It will be even more cozy. and by cozy ... I mean ... 'let me just put my leg over here on your ear so that I can stretch a little - oh, were you eating that?' and I think to myself ... it's not going to be that bad ... because we are all still clean.

and yes, I have been designated official car packer. because I can actually put everyone's stuff in the SUV and still have rear view mirror clearance. which ... they don't understand yet ... is not just convenient and helpful - but necessary and downright dangerous without. perhaps the only major design flaw in the sleek, muscular, and plush Volvo XC90 SUV T6 AWD is that it lacks the perfect mirrors. You know how some cars, you can judge just how far you are from the car behind you, without using the rear mirror (which, let's be honest, is for amateurs anyway ... you should be able to 'feel' the car, and drift into place) ... but not so with the XC90. let us suppose that somehow a car is passing you ... maybe you are pulling into a rest stop, or dying, or whatever other reason you would have for a car managing to pass you. you will see a car in your rear mirror .... see it fade off .... then no longer see it. okay. must be next to you ... nope. still behind. okay. soon you forget about it. there are other cars on the road that need your attention. now, taking hold of your senses, you think 'well, let's get into the passing lane and get this show on the road!!'. glance in the rear. nada es close. glance in the side. nothin'. quick glance out the window - clear. start to pull into the lane and horns blare and the MAC TRUCK that you almost just merged with turns an unhappy eye on your star covered caravan. Oh. This has happened. Not yet on this trip. But we are prepared to meet the challenge. no rear view mirror access is like a plane with an engine out. it just doesn't bode well.

In other news - big day going out to the sis! 9+7=16 --> 1+6=7 -->7+8+6=21 !

I will be driving. but you drink some Champagne for me!

GNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH !!!!

Packed.

yep.

believe it!

and to relax, I ate an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's 'Vermonty Python'. oh yes, I am well aware that it is 224% of my daily dose of saturated fat alone. ... I just couldn't resist. chocolate cookie crumb swirl ... Coffee liqueur Ice cream ... FUDGE COWS FOR GOODNESS SAKES! the cows get me every time. How can you not be delighted, elated, and more than a little bit giddy about eating molded frozen chocolate bovine? they're even standing on a little patch of grass ... so cute ... so unwitting. Plus - 40% of my daily Vitamin A dose. come on. where else are you going to get that? see. it's even healthy.

but here is the totally odd part. We all know that it's a pint ... right ... and it does say pint on the front ... but where you expect to read the volume it says 473 mL ! Metric Volume! there's more - the recommended serving size is one cup (foolishness to begin with ... that's like one spoonful) - clearly a volume based measure - but the parenthetical equivalent listed is 106 grams !!! mass??! what is going on here? visit your nearest scoop shop and demand an explanation. also - while you're there, comment on the density ratio of their ice-cream to water.

Water, of course has a density ratio of 1 Kg/L or 1 g/mL and is the general base unit for most sweet physics calibration measurements. And if their claim is correct (yet to be verified precisely with more pints ... scientific method after all) then there are 424 grams per 473 mL of volume - meaning that at a density of .8964 their ice-cream is LESS DENSE than water! easily 10% lighter than the equivalent volume of water! ...sure doesn't feel like it...

So ... does that mean that if I eat as much B&J as I would have drunk as water ... I will weigh less ? wow ... brilliant!! maybe I should try the 'Dublin Mudslide' calling from the freezer and see if the numbers match up ...

I've got hundreds of these ...

The update first - almost everything that needs to be packed is. Somehow spent another hundred bucks today for those last minute supplies to fill in the gaps in our lists ... I have reason to believe that there will be more gaps to be filled. I just want to leave with enough money to stay on the road the full expected time! grrrrrrrrrrr.

good news is that my cousin has started highschool physics - and might need my help. So, I get to do physics on long car rides (we will have moderate internet access due to a cool phone, hardware, and secret program) without seeming unusually weird! ... I already considered printing out lots of math problems to do if I get bored ... but ended up doing a few because they just looked too interesting!!

I thought about posting some of the more amusing problems ... then realized that they were probably only amusing to me ... and just a painful reminder to others of the math classes that they were forced to take back in governmentally mandated education programs. so I'l leave those out until prompted.

and here are a few more -

If someone 'whispers sweet nothings in your ear' - how can you tell that they are sweet? maybe these particular 'nothings' are bitter, tart, salty, sour, or that weird 7th flavor Umami ... crazy MSG ... and would you really know?? they're nothing! ... so wouldn't you really not even be whispering then? and you are not in their ear. and the nothings can't possibly be in their ear. this is just ridiculous.

'head over heals in love' ... correct me if I am wrong ... but isn't that how we are normally. I mean, unless you are a carny.

when you are in trouble, you might be 'in an pickle' ... and I respect that. first of all, you're in a vegetable - no fun - and it's been in brine for so long that they changed its name. but ... I mean ... a pickle is kinda soft ... how about - 'in a coconut'! That would be a real tough one to get out of!

'got a bone to pick with you' ... I was hoping that the etymology sprang from gravedigger competitions, or vulture camaraderie newsletters ... but alas. dogs. why you would be comparing yourself to a dog though ...

If 'laughter is the best medicine' ... then how come we still go see doctors instead of comedians? ... wait ... or does this mean that doctors .... hey, what is in the Hippocratic oath exactly?!

Since 'mind your own beeswax' is synonymous with 'mind your own business' ... was beeswax such a booming industry at one point that business and a yellow odoriferous candle fuel were thought to be the same?

more packing.

nearly done.

woot!

Driving - o - licious.

yep.

finding out just how far this is going to be. so far, none of the drives are less than 5 1/2 hours ... and the longest that I have mapped is almost 14 in one solid stretch. good times. so, this is why we decided to have 4 people total instead of just us two again!

perhaps I will get the route on Google maps when we all confirm the dates. :)

in the meantime - if you are being introspective, that's looking at yourself - and prospective is looking to the future ... but if you're not an intro, or a pro, are you intermediatespective? puts it all in respective perspective doesn't it?