Why Do I Do That When I Drive?

I give credit to my parents. We used to get to go in the car when we were little in order to put us to sleep. A quick little loop around the block, and it was lights out. Comfortable, rolling along, car sounds, etc. Good times. I think. I was asleep.

Well - as a young adult, I thought that I had grown out of this trait. Long car trips, attempting to sleep across the back seat were near failures. Early morning and through-the-night shifts became my staples, as I wouldn't get sleepy or really all that slack-minded during the drive. yes. Slack mind. it's when your mind goes numb from driving in the middle of the night, and you stop paying attention, and start to think about your day, or the concept of being sucked into a black hole ... because in terms of direct spacial relationships, it is a pinpoint in space, so you can't really be sucked into it ... you'd be sucked TO it and be crushed to an infinitesimal amount, however, in terms of the gravity and space-time continuum view - you would be falling into an infinitely large (or infinitely negative depending on your conception of the infinite/neg-infinite overlap) hole ... but then in terms of time - since time is relative to the frequency of input from external sources, and you would be floating in space before being sucked in - the only measure of time being your own biological rumblings - then you would possibly not even have a concept of time passing at it's normal rate - and since much of our input comes from what we see - and you would not see a black hole - it's questionable whether you would even know that you were being sucked into it as it was happening - and certainly there would be no way to tell anyone else about it, as all of the electromagnetic spectrum that we currently use for communication is ravenously sucked back into the very maw that you are entering ... beknownst to you or not. And then you almost slam into the back of a mini-van going 50 in the 65 zone - where you have been going 80+ because your lead foot was on night overdrive, and you slam on the breaks, swerve, avoid collision, speed back up to pass them - in the hopes that they didn't really notice you coming out of the darkness like a flaming banshee and sidestepping them at the last minute in a move perfected by American football players nationwide ... or at the very least you went by fast enough that they can't get your plate number. And then everyone else in the car, that has now been jolted awake, is available to chat about your recent metaphysical theories.

And - I had grown out of it. Unless someone ELSE was driving. then I'd be out like a Nintendo Wii at at BestBuy. However ... in the last few years I've started 'feeling drowsy' (read napping) while driving. I usually pull over and pawer-nap it out ... but occasionally there simple is not enough time in the day to afford that 20 minute energy re-boot.

Hence - the teeth brushing. I brush my teeth non-stop during a drive, when I am about to fall asleep. It keeps me awake. and promotes good dental hygiene. The only thing is that recently I have been getting sleepy within the first 45 minutes. and then brushing for the next couple hours ... not the best idea.

not sure if I was really going anywhere with that ... just that it sucks to start falling asleep every time you go on a long drive in the car ... and even worse when it's you driving. I mean ... not to make you feel any less safe on the road ... I'm actually quite a good driver asleep ... I mean ... please ... even asleep I do better than most flatlanders ... ;)

Good Morning.

A pleasant evening was had by all.

Lovely dinner at the little sister's house, almost one game of scrabble (if you play two half games, because everyone but me gets bored, does that count as one? I think not), and it looks to be a glorious morning to head into Burlington and get some glass blowing done!

Not entirely sure what I want to make though ... because if I make pendants, they always sell, and similarly with rings ... but since it's partially for demo in the store, and not actually my oxy/prop that is being used ... I feel like I should do something much cooler to show off and have fun. ...and not necessarily make any money...

so - I need ideas (and possibly a good working picture) for what to make. All ideas welcome - obviously some take longer and are more complicated than others - but I need a list, because I can make it with a good pic, but then I'd have to think it up AND make it. way too much work.

Nap.

And I needed it.

Plus I'd just overcooked a batch of brownies. well ... I'm pretty sure that the oven burnt them ... since they were supposed to be in there for 40 minutes (I know, crazy long, but this was a huge batch) and I only left them in for 1/2 hour before the smoke alarm started going off. ...In my defense, it wasn't actually smoking ... or really burning (that one's a blatant lie), but the smoke detector must have had the dl, and knew.

So - between the rampant yet completely unproductive insomnia, way too much driving back and forth from Btown to the house today, and the oven of satan - I was more that ready to fend off lucidness as I hit the comforter and feather pillows.

Of course, I'm awake now ... and that means that I have to find something to keep me entertained for the next few hours ... because I can't possibly go back to sleep now ... might ruin my reputation. so - I have been debating between browsing Wikipedia, bbc.uk, randomly typing letters into online dictionaries to see what words they give me, and playing online scrabble till I get into a losing streak with a 1200 level player, just as I am about to solidify my cusp over 1100 ... and then go to bed mumbling archaic profanities that only count as words because you can play them in a tournament game and would never be used in real life ... and resolve to not play so many games in a row in the future ... especially not late at night as your vision starts to blur ... and definitely not if you're in a winning streak ... that's just asking for it.

Chinese Food.

Yep.

On possibly the single best hydration day yet. Great. I go and blow it on tons of super-high sodium food and enough carbs to do sprints tomorrow without any energy lag problem.
I mean - it was great. Don't get me wrong - I certainly wouldn't have eaten it if I wasn't feeling so satisfied with the meal in general that I couldn't convince myself to stop. That darn Lee's Chinese ... so delicious ... and then an hour later, when you're hungry - it's delicious all over again. how do they do that? like ... nachos the next day - not good at all. lo mein - wonderful. corn soufflé - fallen and soggy; fried dumplings - still salubrious.

amazing.

and now I'm chugging glasses of water, to try to catch back up on my regimen. Funny thing ... I drank two vitamin drinks after the chinese, been pounding water, and I'm actually still really thirsty.

Hydration.

officially sucks. 16 cups daily for regular people .... 5 quarts daily for active people ....

and -

as much as 10 liters daily for endurance athletes. okay. I'm not an endurance athlete. but I'm also not a fish. drink 1 liter of water before every workout, rehydrate afterwards. ummm ... I might make it through the workout with my belly sloshing around ... but I'd drown during recuperation!

seriously. I thought a couple nalgenes a day was doing great.

They Start ...

Props goes out to the Bike Center in Middlebury, VT for the first gear donation to actually come through!! A brand new pair of Cannondale shorts, and lots of inspirational advice, goes a long way to making me think that this can actually go through. I can actually get most of my gear from caring shops. I can raise $4,000.00 dollars through donations, and not by selling my body on the street corner ... or coming up with the short side of the four grand out of pocket.

And besides the fact that bike shorts inherently make you look both idiotic and strangely athletic at the same time, they're great! now ... if anyone knows a hook-up for a shoe/pedal system, helmet, long biking wear, tires, tools, etc - let me know!

Just A Reminder ...

btw people - bikeandbuild - I need to raise $4,000.00 by May 08.
$2,000.00 of that needs to be in by January ... anything that you can think of to help is greatly appreciated.
donations from local groups, a bike shop near you that might be interested in donating gear, friends and family that might just think that it's such a weird and cool thing to bike cross country in two months and build houses for affordable housing that they want to donate $20 or $50 or $100. 501(c)3 charity totally tax deductible.
even if it's just giving me the number of a bike shop, and the person to contact, and having me do the final legwork. every little bit helps. I have a list of about $1,500.00 worth of gear that I need to acquire one way or another before I head off ... $20 buys a new chain, $40 a tire, $60 a pair of shorts ... every amount moves me closer to realizing the final goal - and then I can stop thinking about it!!
it's like public radio ... you want me to go on the trip. you want to know what happens. you'll check the blog. so - how much is that worth to you? to see me succeed? $20? $40? I've already put in $400 myself ... not including the gear that I already own ... I'd like to be able to say that all the rest came from caring individuals .... ;) enough guilt?
basically - even if you don't donate money, but know someone who does and you can twist their arm ... or print out a few fliers for free at your job/campus/parents' and distribute them around town to see if anyone bites - that's helping.
I've attached my cover letter - feel free to do with them as you see fit!
The actual PDF I can send in email as either PDF, or Word doc.
Thanks in advance!!

cover letter ------------------------------------------------------------------------
can also be emailed to you in Word, Text, or plain text formatting.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Elijah Schwartz
23 Goldman ln.
Jamaica, VT 05343
(802) 999 – 6021
EGSchwartz@GMail.com

Bike and Build Cyclist
Central United States 2008

Dear Community Member;

In an effort to better both myself and communities across the country, I have joined with Bike and Build for their 2008 season. Bike and Build is an independent 501(c)3 nonprofit organization, dedicated to providing affordable housing, empowering young adults, and fostering the spirit of service. Throughout the nine week, 4,000 mile, cycling trip we will volunteer our time at local housing initiatives and bring media attention to the housing crisis in the United States.

To that end, I must raise $4,000.00 within the next several months. Some of which will go towards the necessary cycling gear, but the majority will be donated to affordable housing groups and charities nationwide.

I am asking for a monetary donation, either personal or from your business, to help me achieve my goal. I have enclosed contribution forms for your business, employees, friends, and family – should you/they choose to donate. The donation form amounts are not your only options, they just highlight the gift apparel that you can receive for meeting each tier. Please keep in mind that any donation amount is appreciated – and you can group together multiple donations. I am also offering – for any business donation – the choice of adding a four square inch sticker or patch with your logo to my bike or person.

Thank you for your consideration, help in distributing these forms, and charitable donation! Please feel free to contact me with questions at the above email address, or visit the Bike and Build website at www.BikeandBuild.org.

Sincerely,

Elijah Schwartz

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I.N.T.E.R.N.E.T.

yes. I have it.
hahahahahahah!
my precious.
yes.
yes.
and a plentiful tertiary helping of yes.
just for good measure.
sooo sleek.
sooo expensive.
sooo internetish.
yep.
it's a word.
I know because I found it on google.
1,070 pages.
anything that comes up on google is real.
I feel giddy.
it's like noticing that you now have another eye, and wondering what interesting things you will do with it next.
will we go to bbc.uk and check the world news?
play a round of scrabble at isc.ro?
or finally update the blog that has fallen into a sad state of disrepair?

El Loco.

I have been nicknamed El Loco. In large part due to the picture of me in kneeling in front of a Bison to take it's picture. Apparently that's not something that most people do ... maybe because they read the brochure which says to not, under any circumstances, even if your toddler is waddling towards one, or there is a pile of money sitting right beside one, never ever go up to a Bison. Apparently, they will kill you. An animal that averages just under a full English ton in mass, has horns, and the shoulders of the (insert football team here) lineup, just walking into you by accident might hurt. Granted. But he wasn't walking - just to clarify - he was scratching his nether regions on that post, in a very self satisfying sort of way. So, I figured, he'll ether keep at it, or charge me - but the judging from the look of contentment on his face, I thought the choice was pretty clear. It was when he moved away from the post, started scratching in the dirt, and eyeing me sideways, that I quietly excused myself and went back to the suv.

But really. El Loco. That is only two keys away from El Lobo. The Wolf! And I could be being praised for my stalking and hunting techniques, as well as fierce loyalty and shiny coat. Much preferable the the one keystroke difference of El Poco ... the small. no. I'll take Loco. because if you anagram loco, you get Cool. El Cool. or in a french anagram, Le Cool. yep. I've unraveled the nickname for what it really is. Clearly, from an admirer, and not someone commenting on my sanity.

Crazy Copenhagens.

I'd live here.

But then again, I've always had a fascination with the idea of housing that mimics nature and the environment. Why not have grass and plants on every rooftop? a flowing multi-level home built into the side of a hill? sweet! greenhouses and gardens as necessary attachments to every home, rather than a 2 car garage? well - that may be a little too granola - but it's a great concept!

in other news - repacking everything that I own ... somewhere in the neighborhood of 640 cubic feet of crap ... if you don't count furniture and glass equipment - so that I can head back up to Burlington and start training for Bike and Build and get settled in for grad school .... and so that I can put it in storage, and not sort through it again for another year! yay!

do I need the industrial milkshake machine to travel with me? of course! the 12 pairs of shoes? maybe just 7. how about the 6000 piece puzzle of a fantasized Egyptian blimp? yeahno -that can stay put.

Toshiba.

check this out.

.... crazy .... no more harddrives?

Primes.

So - when I thought about the idea of 'secondary primes'' and wondered if they really were real (yes, but not usually called that), and delved into about 46 pages of info on primes - including every link off of the Wikepedia primes page. And after touching on the Reimann Hypothesis again ... an old friend of mine, that I've worked off and on towards for the past 8 years, I found this:

http://www.mersenne.org/

you are looking at a program that searches for the next biggest prime number.

click on the 'download' link on the left navigation bar.

follow the step 1 instructions.

the program runs in the background, and only uses extra memory when you aren't running another program - in terms of the base priority, it runs at the lowest setting possible. Every other program that you could possibly run supersedes it. and it's only 1M ... smaller than one photo file.

and here's why to do it - you could win $50,000.00 !!!! ... for doing nothing. for letting the computer do it's own thing in the background. doesn't even open a window to bother you. but - DO turn on the optional SOUND option. it repeats a tone if you find the next 10 million + digit prime number (so that you can start looking forward to the check). that's right - someone out there (EFF) will actually pay you money for just finding this number, using a program that someone else made, without you doing anything but downloading it.

chances of finding one are about 1 in 250,000 on average. so ... don't expect to find one right away ... but it's still much better than the lottery, and you don't have to spend any money on it. anytime your computer is on anyway, it runs, without slowing you down. try it. it's kind of cool. I think. nerd much?

........okay.......... one new side note - if you set it to run with over 400 Megs of your free space, it will slow down the speed that photo files load at. .... but the recommended free space limit is 8 Megs .... maybe I got carried away.

Birthday!

yep. it happened. the skies opened - quite literally, if you consider the clouds moving aside to be opening - and all was well.

now - sky opening is usually considered to be raining. but if you think about it, that means there actually is something in the sky - and albeit that stuff is falling, it is certainly not opening anything. sunny skies are really open skies.

and it was sunny.

so I took a nap on the picnic table, in the sun.

:)

Sunday.

I know - you're thinking ... does he know that it's really Friday? yes. even though I am technically still on vaca - I did take down my vacation reply email setting, and have recently figured out what day it is.

Sunday is the next anniversary of my date of birth. Even though I was actually born on a Friday ... so it's not really my birth day ... more of my birth date. However, I have celebrated the birth date on a Sunday in '84, '90, '01 and now in '07. I guess it's all right.

But. since I'm getting on in years. I was trying to figure out what to do in 'celebration'. It is basically like any other day ... except that perhaps the amount of whole number divisors of my age changes (it does), or that it changes from even to odd (and some years vice-vers!), and occasionally is an ever popular multiple of 5 (it is not). A long time ago, I decided that 11 is the best age to be, and since then have postulated that primes in general may outweigh normal integers.

21 and 22 are of course honorary 'secondary' primes because they are the product of only two distinct primes, and different primes in each set at that.

... of course that means that 29 is likely to be my next best year ... not the most comforting thought. however there is a perfect cube along the way, and since I don't really recall my last cube all that well - it could conceivably excel. ... although the next cube after that would be 64 ... so I'm kind of hoping that it's not the pattern ...

anywho. getting older. looking for patterns. not male pattern ... that's not something I'm really keen on. and if you're not a kid, and don't have kids, and are in the middle of nowhere VT, on a Sunday, do you do something special ... just for societal expectations?

like bake a cake? and if so - what cake do you bake? recommendations? The only thing I don't really like about cakes is too much thick, heavy, frosting - other than that - I'm game!

Puppies.

ummmm.

they're cute.

a little too cute.

okay .... the goldens aren't as cute, in my opinion ... kind of like small weasels, but the chocolates are like little balls of tenderness. maybe I'm partial.

Jamaican born - Vermont raised - these puppies have a loving set of parents, and include papers on both parents. That's right - purebreads. gather round folks - because I'm prepared to offer you, that's right YOU, this opportunity to bring one (or two) home with you in the coming weeks! Now, they're just born a week ago - but people are jumping at the chance! put down a $100 deposit today, and secure your chance to be a part of this living legend in the making - first come, first secured people! now, as I was saying - low - low price for a family raised, purebred on both sides, socialized, male pup is $400, and female is $500. they come in an option of colors as well! 5 Goldens, 5 Chocolate! take your pick!

recall that a chocolate is still considered purebread if one of the parents was a purebread golden, and it comes out brown. Hence, Mocha (the father) had some golden bullets in the mix, and those 5 are purebred goldies, not chocolates. the color probably gave that away ... no?

feel free to tell friends and associates that they are $450 and $550 - take a little fat off the top for yourself! and then send 'em our way for the pickins.

oh yeah - check out the pics to your right.

Home.

Made it back in time for Pops' birthday! yay! made three different soups, Erin made a cake, and dinner was festive!

soups:

classic beef stew ala Eli. which means 8 gallons. your basic stew, in case anyone is suddenly struck with the desire to warm up to a hot bowl on a brisk fall day, consists of the following:
(feel free to pare down to meet your smaller needs)

2 huge yellow onions (diced)
6 pounds of beef (1" cubes) ... a london broil or top round is great
8-10 cloves garlic (minced)
6 leaves bay (whole)
2 Tblsp dried rosemary (assuming that no one has it fresh right now)
2 Tblsp dried thyme (see above) ... fresh is so much better though
2 tsp basil
1 Tblsp parsley
1 tsp chipotle chili powder
2 Tblsp salt (kosher or large grain preferred)
1 Tblsp black pepper (ground medium)
2 liters red wine (merlot is fine)
1/2 gallon beef broth (mode from bouillon if necessary)
2 pounds carrots (chopped)
4 pounds potatoes (1.5" cubes) ... red tend to break down less in the mix, if that's a concern
1.5 sticks unsalted butter
1 pound button mushrooms (sliced) ... portobello/crimini are nice if you want to spring for them
also!!... on a side note, something that I have always suspected !!! :
http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/portobellosportabellas.htm
4 oz shitake mushrooms (sliced) ... you can find them dried for less than fresh mushrooms)
additional water
additional salt and pepper to taste
1 enormous lobster pot
1 saute pan
1 heat stone
1 ladle
1 wooden spoon
1 chef knife
1 spice ball, or cheese cloth
6 hard dinner rolls
1 dose flexibility ... this is just a start. you might add savory, or some sage (I did), or cut back on the potatoes a bit ... because, hey, I have enough starch in my diet ... a few more cloves of garlic so that your friends won't speak to you, or toss out an onion and sub in some shallots! you crazy bugger!

-prep everything.
-put the bay leaves and any fresh spices into the pot.
-put the bouillon into the pot.
-turn the pot on medium/low heat ... it's got plenty of time. (... or maybe thyme as well!)
-place all of the dry spices into the spice ball. toss it in too.
-1/3 stick butter goes in the pan, high heat, saute up half of the onions! toss 'em in the pot when lightly golden.
-1/3 stick butter in the pan - do up the other half! if you do them all at once, they tend to go translucent, rather than nice golden. halfway through sauteeing, add the garlic, and half of the salt and pepper. pot.
-1/3 stick butter, high heat, brown those mushrooms ... unless they're already brown ... then browner them? pot 'em.
-1/4 stick butter, high heat, we're searing half the beef. add in half of the remaining seasonings now. and to the pot.
-do it again. 1/4 stick, half beef, rest of the seasonings, sear it up! pot.
-deglase the pan with a cup of red wine - add that to the pot.
-add the rest of the liter to the pot, just for fun!
-add the potatoes and carrots. cover with extra water, if you can't stir the mix, or if potatoes are popping up over the liquid.
-leave it for an hour.
-stir.
-if it needs more liquid, add the water still (I know, I know, you have an extra liter of wine still left ... have a glass, chill out)
-leave for an hour.
-stir.
-add whatever is left of the liter of wine that you had an hour ago. ... you can also add beer to beef stew for liquid, and as long as you give it time to cook off, it's just as good! (but use wine)
-keep it on low heat, simmering, for another few hours, stirring intermittently. you're looking for the point where the beef starts to break down ... is still solid, but if you squish it between your fingers, it falls apart. also - the critical potato mass. when the potatoes are perfectly cooked, it's not ready ... you want them to be just on the verge of self-mashing. where you still have chunks, but a few rogue potatoes have broken down and started to thicken up the broth into real stew consistency. Some people avoid this more patience testing stage, by making a small batch of mashed potatoes, and adding it near the end ... it's stew people. no one makes stew in a hurry. it'd be like making chili in a hurry. what, you're going to throw the beans and meat and seasonings in a pot, and that'll be it? no freaking way. if you eat that chili on the same day it was made, shame on you.

I'd give you the recipe for the Butternut Squash Pear Autumn Spice soup that I made next ... but then you wouldn't be able to scroll down to my other posts ...

happy October!

Days Inn.

We slept in and had a free breakfast - you figure it out.

Kentucky.

More driving.

Stay with family in Ohio tonight? We'll see how excited we are about a second day of 800+ miles on a highway in a row.

I am pretty sure that the tent will not be taken out, no matter what.

which may mean ... another all nighter ... with only two people. one of which is night blind. this could get interesting.

2000 Miles Left ...

Wake up at 7 a.m.

Get all packed.

TomTom says 2000 miles to go ...

Head out.

Drive all day.

Dinner in Nashville.

Red Lobster. Surprisingly good, considering the degree of land-locked-ness.

Drove until food coma hit.

Pop up the tent ... sleep in the car ... or ... Days Inn?

Rockin' R Toobing.

The place: Rockin' R Toobing and Rafting. yes. with two o's.

The time: early afternoonish. sometime past noon. hey. we're on vacation ... who carries a watch on vacation?

The people: Me. John 2. John 3. Meg. Erin. The cooler.

The libations: Hurricane mix, made with the better part of a handle of rum. and as much Bud Light as cooler could carry. 18 rack?

The rental: Two regular toobs - for the womenfolk. Four toobs with a hard plastic bottom - three for the guys who didn't want strange rocks invading their hindquarters - one for cooler.

The trip: down the Guadalupe. over three sets of rapids. under two bridges. over one six foot water break. and somehow by the end we four of us had become tied to cooler, for our safety.

The food: Sonic. around 5 p.m. breakfast?

The ride: dictated by Garmin ... not TomTom ... fools that we were. after our fifth left hand turn ... we realized that something was wrong.

The dinner: steak. 6 pounds of perfectly grilled marinated teriyaki steak. mashed potatoes. 5 pounds of mashed potatoes with chives and fresh pressed garlic. 2 pounds of sauteed green beans. I think when we went to the store we were either hungry, or so strong that we thought that the food weighed nothing.

The sleep: In a bed again! much desired and needed, but unexpected again! perhaps we'll be so mellow from having slept two nights in a row in beds, that the next couple thousand miles will fly by? maybe?

The recap: toobing - awesome. toobing on a sunny day over rapids, interspersed with calm flats, and a cooler and friends - awesome-er.

Austin. Couch.

We made it.

a half dozen cans of Blue Demon Agave energy drink for the driver (john), and a playlist of the most dance-able, crazy, weird, catchy songs that I could find on my computer for the rest of us.

as the sun was just coming up, and the day was beginning. the smell of fresh AC, and a bathroom with running water greeted us - along with John's dad.

So - as John and John (2 and 3) headed off to breakfast at Sonic, I did what any good guest would do. passed out on the couch.

Then got up and planned out a lovely beer battered fresh fish dinner with beer battered hand-cut fries and butter steamed asparagus. none too shabby. have to remember that recipe. a little chipotle powder would have tipped off the flavor, but somehow we avoided buying it in Santa Fe ... possibly because there was no money left?

Their flip house looked great - if anyone is interested in purchasing a house in the Austin area, feel free to give me a shout, and I can get you their info.

and then - as if planning for his sainthood proceedings - John 2 gives us his bed, and moves out to sleep on the couch. (not john 3 mind you, let's not get crazy)

since when are people nice and sacrificing in their own homes? I mean ... the couch was fine. but the bed ... soooooo much better. if I were wearing a hat right now, to hide the fact that I haven't showered since yesterday and am covered in an imperceptible layer of gypsum sand, I would take it off to salute you sir!

Pink Sands?

White Sands.

or so they say.

drove all day - in an effort to beat TomTom's prediction of us getting to the park after the Visitor's Center close. and so we flew through the day, passing cars and trucks and the occasional unmarked police vehicle, and made it just in time to get into the park right after the center closed.

but wait!

This center stays open an extra half hour later than all of the other ones we've been to!
.... kinda weird .... but great!

So, with postcards in hand, tears in our eyes, and implements of destruction, we drove off into the sunset for another thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat, and found ourselves in the midst of dunage. that's dune-age. white dunes.

But then ... as the sun started to set, and me started leaping off of dune cliffs, the sands turned pink! definitely, noticeably, pink. Even though at some points the sunset was orange, then red, then pink, the sand stayed a lovely soft pink. how odd.

but when you got it back into the car to wipe it out of your eyes and ears (from tumbling down a dune cliff) it turned back white! incredible ...

speaking of back in the car.

that's right.

all nighter here we come!

Balloon Fest.

Weeee!

drive in at 5:20 a.m. to catch the balloons starting their day. Mass Ascension! ...would have been a little bit cooler, if there hadn't been 60,000 other cars on the road trying to get the same place as us! oh yeah ... and it was 34 degrees. in the sun.

balloons - sweet - when I get some pics uploaded, you can see for yourself!

headed out to the petroglyphs with a friend of John's fam. they were okay ... a bunch were obviously made by some grafitti artist who knew what he was doing, and wanted to get some laughs when people took pictures of the 'crazy alien petroglyph' and posted them online.

... so I took pictures of them too.

but at least I know which ones are totally fake, and which are possibly real.

Food:

-breakfast burritos. eggs, bacon, cheese, green chilis, salsa, hash browns, flour tortilla. can you say, amazing-mouth-watering-almost-too-much-to-eat-but-so-delicious-that-you-have-to? yeah.
-half pound burgers, fries, bottled water. ...Dasani... not that I dislike it as intensely as some of my compatriots ... but if I am going to drink tap water, why not just get it in a dixie cup for free from the spigot? Now ... Figi or Volvic ... those have to come from tropical desert islands hond extracted by naked voluptuous natives who caress the bottles with lush flowers before shipping. I'll pay for that.
-mini-donuts made in a sweet spiral deep frier! that's right. they start in the middle, an automatic flipper flips them half way through, and the flow of the oil spins them through and out to the sugar pit to be tossed and bagged! I need one.
-hot cocoa. marshmellows. whipped cream. they do it right.

balloon glow - also barely conveyable in writing, but amazing in images.

and then the best news yet: it's going to drop down below freezing tonight ... and ... SNOW! yay! snow will be so much fun! I'll just tug on my boots and snowpants and when we're done come back inside for coca and sit on the couch by the fire and watch tv and .......................... camping. no wood. no snow gear. it's dark.

the reason that it was good news is that the idea of freezing to death was so immobilizing, that the only body function still operable was the cell phone. And then the gas pedal. And then the pack-up-all-of-your-tent-and-crud-wicked-fast-because-it-is-literally-freezing-to-the-
-ground-as-we-speak function. Then the unload-all-your-stuff-into-Motel-6 function.

and so all was good. and there was much rejoicing. and light. and things of that nature.

Atomic Bar and Grill.

not quite as adventurous a morning as we will have tomorrow. woke up. changed clothes. watered the nearby trees. headed down the twisty 10 miles back into town for breakfast.

But lets talk food!

If you are looking for surprisingly great Greek Food, in the middle of New Mexico, go to the Plaza Restaurant. Conveniently located right on the main plaza! Amazing. They have everything there - Burgers, Tacos, Burritos, Spaghetti, Gyros, Milkshakes ... and it all looked delicious! Totally made up for the fact that we skipped out on our regular Fajita guy for breakfast!

A little more shopping...

we spent (quick pause, we = the women - John and I splurged and spent about $50 total between us), in two days at Santa Fe, possible as little as 6 hours shopping total, more money than we have spent on gas for the entire trip. You do the math. 7500 miles, 17-18 miles per gallon, gas at $3 per gallon.

The American dream is to live beyond your means, and end up in debt to multiple credit cards ... right?

That completed by noon - John and I went to a bar, and left the ladies to their devices - without either of our cards in easy reach. There we stayed until 4 - charging computers, using the internet, charging phones and batteries, downloading and uploading, and in general enjoying the idea of technology. Free WiFi, a runner strip of grounded outlets under the entire bar, and no-one there to complain about the cords sprawled everywhere. could we have asked for more? Dinner there - Atomic Bar and Grill - Pizza was okay (recall, we'd just had Il Vicino ...), good fries, very nice selection of beers, and a cozy overall feel. ...strangely not a lot of people there though...

Tomorrow is the long awaited Balloon Festival!! 4:30 a.m. wake time, in order to be there for the morning 'glow' ... better start getting psyched now ... it's supposed to be below zero degrees Centigrade tonight. woo hoo !!

Petroglyphs. Movies.

Bandelier.

Caves.

Petroglyphs.

Hike up and inside a few.

Strangely less fulfilling than usual, because we finished the whole venture by early afternoon!

Lunch at Blue Corn Cafe ... might be worth it to move down here just for the food!

Try to find a mini-golf place ... turns out that the best mini-golf in the entire surrounding area is worse than anything we would never have gone to in VT in the first place ... so we saw a movie. 310 to Yuma. The end was salvaged from sure disaster by the clever use of one line and a whistle.

then ... sleep.

It's frigid outside ... what do you want from us? besides ... we'd finished the season discs already. I guess we could have done team Minesweeper ... but that would be lame ... and we're not lame. we're adventurers! hence, the need for sleep, to augment the facilitation of extreme adventures upon the next waking!

Santa Fe. 1.

Apparently, the Balloon festival in Albuquerque (an easy hour away) counts as a holiday here ... hence the extra 'holiday rate' for parking. oh well.

breakfast of fajitas! from the cool street vendor. oh yes, he's been in Gourmet magazine, Bon Apetit, Chicago Tribune, etc. and he has a drink called Jamaica - which includes VERMONT maple syrup as one of the key ingredients! - VT rocks -

A little alley shopping. A little store shopping (slightly more dangerous). Snack at the Ore House. A little more wandering about with wallets open. And then off to search out the Burger joint of Erin's carefree college years.

It either moved or is gone. which is a shame. because it was damn good, and inexpensive. ... wait ... underpriced and over quality ... maybe that's the reason. So, instead of trying to go to the chinese place being put in (since it was mostly a pile of rubble) we mosied on over to Il Vicino's Pizza. Voted #! in Santa Fe some number of years in a row. delicious. their draft style homemade authentic rootbeer was sticky and caramel and heavy on the sassafras root. don't get that. but get the pizza. any of them really. nice thin crust, but with lots of fresh toppings, not doughy, well cooked, great service, free showers, lap dances, etc.

Considered seeing a movie - as a novelty, seeing as how we are in a real town with actual theatres - but the pizza was starting to kick in the nap glands, so we went to the store.

liquor store(s).

note the parenthetical s.

not because we couldn't find the stuff that was needed, nor that we bought out one store and had to move on to the next like a roaming group of vultures fallen off the wagon, but rather that every liquor store in Santa Fe is buried in a ghetto. with barred steel windows. a heavy Mexican with a shotgun behind the register. a Honda civic in front, jacked up, gangster inside. barbed wire dental floss for sale in the side aisle. no lights on outside. and a parking lot with automatic tire spike holes on either exit.

sketchy doesn't begin to describe the places that we drove as close to as possible without catching airborn Herpes, and then drove off.

the one place that purchases were made at - John went in alone, hell, why lose more than one travel companion - all doors were locked, engine left running, and in gear, a secret knock developed in case he came out with someone tailing him too closely, and a time limit posed for how long we'd wait until driving off and looping back.

Tequila and Mix were purchased. As was a How I met Your Mother season set.

Picnic bench - one computer taken out. few episodes in ... rain. should we stop watching ... or ... take out the tarp! Few more episodes under the tarp, with the rain pouring down, thunder and lightening shooting overhead ... and all of us crouched matching TV shows.

computer battery pooped out ... so ... since it's lightening and raining ... and the battery is dead ... we could stop ... or ... my battery is still good, and it's in the SUV! another seven episodes in a nice, dry car, that occasionally was needed for bursts of 84 degree air, and light to pour mix, but otherwise a well appreciated theatre experience!

I mean ... camping experience ... we are camping, right?

Afraid of Wood?

Short Jaunt for breakfast.

Hike out to Petrified woods.

... really really scared wood. what kind of sick society are we that we enjoy looking at a plant based substance in such immobilizing suffering? Those parks should be closed down, gated, and all eligible wood transplanted to happy appreciative homes across America. The petrified wood demoralization ends here!

and if we hadn't already bought several pounds of it in Utah ... along with Septarian and Picasso Stone .... and other nick nacks ... yeah .... there's no more room anywhere in the SUV.

I'm sitting with my camera, computer, maps, food, and miscellaneous bits in side pockets, Thule is crammed full, and we can't see out the rear window at all.

full.

"Santa Fe, are you there? I'm alone but I'm not lonely." 5 pts for the reference anyone?

Campground is 8 miles outside of the city, but quiet and only $10 a night! as per our usual, close to the bathroom, nice and flat, and in a recurring recent pattern - on gravel. yay. at least the mattress only deflates once a night ...

Cactus. Zombies.

Answer - drive to Sodona!

as if we needed a reason to get up and immediately start off on a mission!

... we hit Sodona by 7:15 ... turns out it was a little closer than we thought. Also turns out that nothing is open in Sodona until 8 or 9 or 10 ... even the visitor's center ... although, we harassed an employee who got there early (7:38) and got thew to let Meg in.

Breakfast of eggs Benedict was delicious, at the only joint open in town that looked decent. decent = not super overpriced for a cookie. $2.00 a cookie ... wtf? you can get a whole pack of cookies for that price. and it's a small cookie! not even a huge jumbo cookie. what's in it? gold dust? and if there is gold dust in it, that can slice up your esophagus and lead to heavy metal deposits in your system ... so there should be a warning on the label - just having the price set unreasonably high is not warning enough.

So - after deciding that there was nothing really to do, except wait to spend money, and after having realized that there wasn't much else to do as an option, and being too sluggy still to facilitate taking a hike in the surrounding hills, we drove.

towards a huge cactus reserve.

in the middle of southern AZ. a good four hours there, off the current route, to see some cacti.

okay - it was pretty sweet.

nice cacti.

look at the pics.

then another 6 hours to get back to the route.

... but through near death experiences.

Cliffton.

Cliffton.

Cliffton.

We saw people eating each other at mass gatherings. and hunters tracking tourists. and death traps to get passing vehicles. zombies. shotguns. no guardrails on a switchback mountain road. no signage. Tunnels with no lights on. mining roads with motorcycles coming on your side of the road. drive of death. we would have been next, but they'd obviously just caught someone. but really. we locked the doors. and kept the hammers at the ready. and drove as fast as possible out of there. even with the unmarked switchbacks, gaping holes in the road, and motorcycle cannibal hunters.

almost died later on. campground had huge bears, and wild cows, and people hiding in the woods with hatchets.

finally slept at Lyndon Lake.

no zombie crazies.

over two hours past where we had planned on stopping ... because no one felt safe enough sleeping anywhere we saw. empty campgrounds in the middle of nowhere with no camp hosts and trees rustling with no breeze ...

Drive.

Said a last farewell to Cambria.

Goodbye Pacific Ocean.

Adios Wine country.

Peace out campsite of free showers and surf sounds.

Toodles wet sand and sunsets.

yup.

made a trip into town one last time to grab some b-fast. like we do. Lynns Cafe - sandwich.

and then several hundred miles of driving.

all day.

all night.

parked at some random campground outside of Sonoma and slept in the car. I called driver's seat. you're thinking ... why sleep in the car at a campground? well. I was tired. and didn't want to set up the tent, for a five hour nap, just to take it down before sunrise to avoid paying an average of $3.50 per hour of sleep.

since it was still dark when we left - I will consider that part of this day.

wake up in a sleeping bag, in a car, twisted into the most comfortable uncomfortable position. It feels kind of like being an enormous worm trapped in a gravel pit - no matter where you squirm, there's a hard corner hitting somewhere.

campground success. found a back way out to the main road. what are we going to do at 5:30 a.m. in the middle of nowhere, south of Sonoma?

Wine Tasting!

Leisurely morning. Someone left enough quarters in the shower for a solid 9 minutes of free, warm, luscious, prepaid, cleansing, elixir of rejuvenation. Free showers may just be one of the best road trip experiences ever. Showers in general are nice, but as soon as you have to pay, the shower comes under closer scrutiny. Was it quite as warm as you were hoping? Pressure okay? did it mist a little too much, when you were looking for a more steady stream? floor looked bleached regularly, or just cleaned habitually? These things can temper your shower, and turn it from a joyous morning experience into a mediocre purchase decision. Now ... the free shower can be cold, shoot more water out across the wall than at you, have only one hook to hang up your clothes, and be about the size of a small closet - but it was free - so it becomes a refreshing and character building experience!

made our first real campground breakfast. wait. only campground breakfast. because we're usually up by 6/6:30 and packing the tents to start the day's trek, and who really wants to cook when you're not actually ready to be awake in the first place? Hence, a couple of hours into the drive, when everyone is passable awake, is when we usually eat breakfast ... which for most people would be a normal hour anyway ...

Breakfast - pound of bacon, dozen eggs, quarter loaf of bread, cheddar cheese, home fries, tomatoes, and fresh fruit. Hey - we have a day of Wine Tasting ahead! Commentary on the fresh fruit, while it's up for discussion: California farmstand fruit = salubrious. Think of this: the best fruit that you get from a supermarket (excepting local) has been picked easily 1-2 weeks before it even gets to the supermarket. It is processed, counted, shipped, unloaded, put in storage, put out on display, and hopefully doesn't sit there too many days before you get to it. All oranges are picked green, to prevent bruising when shipped, and sprayed with chemicals that make the outside look orange. true story. The only fruit that actually matures in taste and sugar content after being picked is the banana ... all others slowly rot until they have the texture we associate with ripeness. A ripe Nectarine ... actually not soft at all ... it should have the texture more of an apple than a peach. Fully ripe grapefruit is like eating an orange ... sweet, tender, and juicy. And since everything was only $.99 a pound (!!!!!!) we got two bags of fruit that would blow your mind. or mouth. blow your mouth. strange visual image.

after feasting - we headed in to the land of grapes.

Beginning at 12:30, wine tasting was undertaken.

Donatti.
Zin Alley.
Rotta.
Grey Wolf.
Eagle Castle.
Hunt Cellars.
Dark Star.
Midnight Cellars
Brian Benson.
Castoro Cellars.

Ending at 5:30. you do the math.

average number of wines tasted per site 6-10.
average pour 2 oz.
Food consumed during tasting hours - several stale crackers, shot glass full of small chocolates, mini pretzels.
Liquid consumed - ummm ... wine. don't want to mess up your palate with water or other flavors. duh.
Number of bottles purchased total - 9.
number distinctly remembered - 7.
number of bottles purchased for Erin, for being our DD - 4.
wine glasses collected ... 13.

Dinner - Lombardi's Italian. Wonderful. I even saved some till the next day, just to make sure that I hadn't been unusually biased by lack of food and wine. yep. It was sure good. Get whatever special they have, or whatever says Lombardi on it. It will be scrumptious.

Then, after a mildly frantic drive to find somewhere to scavenge electricity (car power converter pooped out), John and I ended up charging our computers in a random bar, in order to have enough juice to upload his essay and for me to send in his Rec letter!

night at the beach again. glorious.

Windy Road X2

mmm - the smell of Sequoias in the morn! or pines. because you can't actually camp around Sequoias ... they're kind of protected and all.

Did I mention that we came down the windiest road yet (read windy est) ... turns out that you have to come back up it! yep! still insane, even in the light!

Grant Tree - third largest tree by volume. wait ... wtf? there's a Lee tree in the Grant tree reserve? whose idea of a joke is this? might as well have a Cortez tree in the Mayan tree reserve.

Sherman Tree: number 1 by volume! yeah. pretty cool trees. apparently they don't rot, decay, get eaten, or grow fungus. They're too hard and have so many tannins that nothing in the forest wants 'em. They live an easy 3000 years, and then get to take naps on the forest floor for hundreds of years before people with pocket knives finally take then down bit by bit. Resistant to fire, drought, animals, alien attacks, tornadoes, but of course people can find a way around that.

One of the fallen ones was hollowed out before it fell, and was used as a servants' quarters while the park was being explored - then later as a horses stables. yeah. horse stables. inside a tree trunk. think about it. more than just a bunch of trees.

Realizing that we were a few days ahead of schedule ... the vote was made to head to the West Coast! Woot!

a mad drive down a 10 mph recommended hairpin road - where much to everyone's surprise, you did actually have to go the recommended speed - where they had put stone walls up on some parts, but not others, so even that false sense of comfort that comes from knowing that you will probably bounce off of it and stay on the road, is removed - and replaced with the view down a canyon wall and a series of switchbacks that occasionally are marked with a single arrow curved completely around.

And a half hour wait mid-way through to do postcards and have snacks. Apparently they were 'working on the road' to make it 'wider and safer' because it was 'dangerous' ... wouldn't it be simpler to just build a car escalator into the side of the mtn and not allow people to take matters into their own hands and try to drive down it.

regardless.

or guardrail-less.

Sunset on the beaches of San Simeon.

I could stay there. easy. give me a cool million dollars to buy a little cottage a short ways from the shore, and I'd be there at least a year before they repossessed it for not being able to pay takes.

Dinner back at the campground, just a jaunt away from the beach, the surf still so loud that it seemed like it was just outside the tent. really. in a heartbeat. I'm there.

anyway - dinner. 4 pounds of teriaki marinated steak, hand grilled over the fire, green peppers, potatoes, broccoli, cheddar cheese, toast points, guacamole, and cheap wine in preparation for the day of wine tasting on the morrow!

And a family of raccoons tried to sneak out and eat our food while we were eating it. kids - that is why you don't feed animals. they turn rabid, and come looking for easy food, and when they don't get it they go for the jugular, and then you get hospitalized and lose sensation in your toes, and for some reason confuse the letters f and th, saying 'it's your birfday' when singing to friends and family.

beach. good food. beautiful weather. sounds of the ocean. and quarter showers three sites down.

Campground rating: top three overall.

Switchbacks in Nuetral.

More waterfalls.

More Half Dome.

Yosemite will be a good place to come back to with the intention of being serious hikers and backpackers. Some moderate training first could very well be in order. And some real gear. That could be good.

Drive.

Drive.

Kings Canyon at dusk.

Windiest road yet. you see ... you can't really fathom the degree of windiness that these roads exhibit, until you actually drive on them - with a sheer cliff face on one side, a rock wall on the other, and unmarked switchbacks ... unmarked 180 degree turns ... at night, on a road marked for 40 mph, and monkeys throwing stones at you from above.

damn Kings Canyon monkeys.

what drives them to do it?

oh yeah - and this campground has bear boxes and warnings all over too. at least we'd already sorted all the food. and I ate 5 hot dogs for dinner. because everyone else said they were full. and I hate wasting food. and I may die in my sleep from arterial walls bursting. Or a bear eating me ... as I bet I smell like a hot dog now. ... might as well cover myself in honey and go sit on a graham cracker.

Hobo Camp 4.

Kid running around the campground at 7 a.m. in a cape. We are pretty sure he lives there. Morning sunrise - amazing. Sun rising, as the moon is setting, over a mountain range, with a stream in the background, and a free campsite ... it doesn't get much better than that!

It can, however, get much worse. Like ... Lake Mono. First of all - the lake is named Lake Mono. Sign one. we should have turned back. Sign two: there was no real road down to the lake ... dirt road. Obvious sign that so few people really make the trek down to see it regularly enough to make paving worthwhile. "didn't you guys see the signs? I saw the signs..." 5 points for the movie reference, anyone?

Lake Mono in quotes: "Oh my god - what is that smell?", "This sign says that there is supposed to be a 6 foot wide one inch deep ring of flies around the entire lake, but I don't see anything.", "Umm, guys, that black stuff covering the whole shoreline ... it's all flies", "weeee, if you run through the sulfur muck after the flies, they go crazy! hear that deep humming? King of the flies!", "Uh ... it's not coming off my sandals.", "well ... that was ... scenic."

Get in to Yosemite ... go to look for campsites ... yep. all full. Wait ... there's one that says 'walk in campground', maybe that means they are still taking walk ins?

nope.

it means you trek all of your stuff in from a parking lot nearby.

including anything that gives off an odor, to prevent the bears from breaking into your vehicle. 4 milk crates of food, 5 duffels, 2 backpacks, one food bag, two bags of trash, tents, sleeping bags, pillows, tarps. All hiked in to the campsite.

and we got the last spot ... so all of the other people in line got to watch as we trucked stuff in.

possibly the campground that made us feel the most preppy. we're talking hobo camp. 6 tents to a site. one fire pit in the middle. everyone else must have been staying there since last may ... and not showered ... and been on day hikes every day. If you got lost, it might be possible to find your way back by the trail of grime leading to camp 4. I think at some point, the grime just flakes off, that's why same of them looked cleaner ... kind of like a snake shedding its skin.

We also seemed the least active, and least prepared. Everyone had been on at least an 8 mile hike that day, and were taking their time off te go bouldering up cliff faces. Oh yeah, and had thousands of dollars worth of climbing gear, that they were sorting and packing for their major climbing the next day.

I hiked up to a waterfall, then climbed up it, and bouldered along the face. couple of good "where's Eli" photos. possibly a V2/V3 max ... they were doing V5s with one arm. I mean ... inspiring and all ... but let's stop at some different campgrounds with yuppies, so we feel better.

Wandered around Yosemite at nigh for an hour, because some guy told us that there was a great moon viewing spot on some bridge at 8:15 pm. Not around 8. Not 8ish. 8:15. So, we had to go. We knew where we were, and knew that we had passed the spot we wanted twice, and finally got on the bus to let them deliver us there ... yeah ... they went one stop away.

Great moon rise behind Half Dome.

Back to Hobo Camp 4 ... the people that hadn't gotten spots, they were curled in sleeping bags outside of the camp office, in line, waiting to get a spot for the next night. ...If a bear comes, I'll know where to go to watch the carnage. I would think that from a bear's perspective they look like giant twinkies ... tender cake on the outside, creamy on the inside.

plans for tomorrow: truck everything bark out of the campground. find next campground without bear safety enforcement.

Death . . . Valley.

Costco: Breakfast on Samplers, Lunch packs for later, new computer, inflatable swimming pool, and 8 pounds of canned corn.
...except for those last three.

Dick's: New air mattress for the felampers.

Car: drive ... most of the afternoon.

Death Valley: 100+ degrees Fahrenheit. Dry. Under Sea level. Sand dunes made of ultra-fine quartz ... actually so fine that it feels almost wet when you walk on it. Hot. AC required to be turned off to prevent car overheating. I considered trying to cook an egg on the hood. It would have worked. if we'd had an egg.

Car: drive ... the rest of the day, and into the night.

Sierra Nevada Mtns: Camp! dry wood everywhere, great little stream by the campsite, amazing mountains, nearly full moon lighting everything, great moon photos of the stream, cute bridge.

Campsite rank: among top five so far.

Vegas Success.

John and Meg succumb to the shower fees. The rest of us get creative with the sink and handicap stall. With equal results, and comparable timing. Oh yeah. We're good. $10 saved. Plus - I get a haircut! Woot! mmmmm ... new hair ... not shaggy anymore. or scooby for that matter. definitely not velma. ...did I take the reference too far?

New clothes! New hair! New lease on life! ... was there an old lease? who are we leasing from? that's a little weird to think about. can you get a mortgage on life? or use it as collateral for a future investment?

FYI - free parking at Luxor Hotel and Casino. Pull around and park yourself - then head out to the strip ... or do what we do: wander around bemusedly through room after vaulted room of casinos and eateries and shops, following the Exit signs ... which conveniently lead you out of the Casino that you are in, to another neighboring Casino, through an underground walkway, so you never see the sky and don't have any idea what time it is.

Finally exited through Excalibur Mega resort - headed down the strip. Decided that rather than eat each others' hands, we'd find a buffet. Planet Hollywood. There is a reason that they were voted number one buffet in Vegas, and it's not for their Mexican food. Seafood, Steak, Italian, Salads, Indian, Desserts, Southern, Chinese, Japanese, American, Pasta, Bread, Vegetables ... we ate for over an hour. Constant eating. I personally call four plates. Buffet plates. not regular plates. just clarifying.

We rolled out of there - literally - and hit the strip forizzle this time. M&M store - all 4 floors, and the exciting 3D movie; MGM; mini New York; Paris; Bellagio; Ferrari, Lamborghini, and exotic car rental center; postcard shops; okay, so maybe the last one isn't as impressive.

Let's just say that by the end of the night we had a free hotel room at the Hilton with a foyer area, where all of our electronics got charged, Shawshank Redemption (the most rented movie according to recent polls) was watched, and then a CSI marathon. Oh yeah - lots of showers, down comforters, feather pillows, mattresses made of baby smiles and rainbows, and we even may have slept that night.

I really can't tell you everything else that happened ... you understand of course. Vegas.

Beach Moonrise.

A layer of solid ice on the tents. we're not talking, an little frost here. You could actually peel off layers of ice from the tent. Everything was frozen. Even the trees looked less mobile than usual.

After a moderately unsuccessful endeavor to scrape off the ice, then wipe off the residual water, then air dry in the arctic, we packed wet and headed back into G.C. for some morning views - inclusive of, but not limited to: Roosevelt Point and Angels Window Overlook. I think that I freaked an elderly couple out when I leapt over the edge of the canyon ... there was a ledge below me ... but they couldn't see it from their angle ... some mumbling about reckless youth followed, that sounded applicable.

And, with the spirit of road tripping exuberance in abundance, we powered on over to Lake Mead to pit-stop before Vegas!

Also, with our usual flips of luck, we found a great little campground right near the lake, the bathroom didn't smell like death, and the sign said showers!

... oh ... $5 showers? of course they are.

Dinner - on Lake Mead! Enormous moon setting over the beach, fresh mac and cheese, and the ranger was only a little bothered by having to drive down and remind us that the gates lock you in at sunset if you don't leave. ...lock you in? ... doesn't that seem a little ridiculous? I mean ... you're stranded on a beach ... on the reservoir of water for all of Vegas ... sure, you could hop the fence and leave your car there ... but why LOCK YOU IN in the first place?

coyotes howling outside the tent, strange man sat down at our picnic table in the middle of the night whistling, and some definite Whiskey Tango campers sprawling around as if the campground was their home ... maybe it is.

Tomorrow ... Vegas!

Rocks and Tundra.

Arguably the best part of leaving, or entering for that matter, Zion is the rock shops! in particular, seek out the Silver Bear. Best prices, best quality of gemstone, and tons more of it than the cheapo tourist places up the road. Oh yeah - and it's closed on Sunday and Monday. Great timing, huh? Hence - we had to stop at a few other, lesser quality rock shops ... but also found a secret gem in the rough off the highway, where the 'landscape sandstone' was apparently discovered. The sandstone was still too expensive, but I got a few chunks of Septarian and Picasso Stone! $2 a pound ... what a crazy deal.

Oh yeah - and all the other shops that we had tried to get into when it was downpouring, and we went into town (and changed into dry clothes at at weird 50's diner), are now open. None of them open for a rainy day ... not even the pizza shop ... but now: sunny, warm, beautiful day for a hike - all open.

Only slightly gruntled that we had to head out of one of the nicest hiking parks in all of Utah, on a glorious day, the drive to Grand Canyon began!

And it started to get cold.

and colder as we hit Kaibob National Forest.

when the park canger said that the campground was filling up fast, we high tailed it in to grab a spot. and set up camp. in the frigid cold. I'm talking, put on full silk long underwhere, canvas painters pants, thermal undershirt, thermal overshirt, hoodie, outerlayer, baseball cap, and wool socks. before leaving the car. touching the poles to set up the tent ... numbing. we had the chance to buy gloves at the visitors center ... why had we scoffed at the opportunity?

That done - cruise on in to the North Rim center ... where they have casually laid out the shops so that you go into the first one (the worst one) and buy your postcards, then go to the next few, realise your mistake, buy better ones, then head to the last few shops - finally see that these are the ones that actually have decent goods, and don't buy anything because the saloon is right there instead. Hung out in the saloon until we convinced ourselves that it couldn't possibly be as cold outside as we remembered coming in.

it was.

and getting dark.

Probably the coldest night of campground cooking yet. Possibly the best camp meal yet. Smoked mushrooms glazed with olive oil, steamed spinache lightly seasoned, white rice, Annies cheddar mac and cheese, white wine fondue sauce, grilled green peppers, steamed broccoli, wine; and for dessert: homestyle hot cocoa, and of course - smores!

sleeping in all of my clothes in my bag ... not so much fun.

sleeping in the car with all of their clothes and in bags ... probably even less fun for John and Meg.

you could actually see your breath freeze, crystalize, and fall at your feet as a light powder of ice. ...well. it felt that way.

what happened? aren't we in Arizona??

Rain.

You guessed it.

Rain.

downpour.

all day.

headed over to the visitor's center to plug in the electronics and get things charged ... turns out that the town is close enough for free WiFi! score!

headed back to the tents and tarp ... and the river flowing through the camp. and the soggy chairs that were supposed to be covered by the tarp. apparently when there is driving rain, it can get around a slanted tarp. approximately a 1 ft by 4 ft dry area.

the next four hours were spent finding ways of arranging the tarp so that it would dump as much water as possible on me. three changes of clothes later - and I had a full gortex jacket - we were ready to head into town.

an hour later. when we finally got out of the trench that seperates our campsite from the main road. and is exactly the width and depth of on SUV tire. yep. awesome. not at clean spot left. big Shout out thank you goes to John K----- who gave us enough boards to pile up to finally get out of the trench! see you at the balloon festival!

bought three bundles of firewood - had the smokiest fire we've had yet - with supposedly dry wood under a four foot tarp - tied off to the SUV - with a box of wine - and more food for dinner than we could have realistically eaten ...

The womenfolk left with wine and vodka and came back two hours later with "lyle, lyle, virgin" written on Meg's hand ... apparently they had quite the trip on the shuttle ... shuttle doesn't get much night travelers ... I made six pounds of chicken, two boxes of parmesian noodles, used two bundles and the air mattress pump to make a furnace ... to dry off enough towels to have something dry for the morning ... furnace. at least we didn't lose too many towels.

that's the second night in Zion. perpetual damp. needless to say, didn't go on the hike. took some pictures of the rain.

word of the day : MOIST.

Flood Warnings.

Bryce sunrise. wake up at 6:30. get to 'sunrise overlook' by 7:05. does noone recall the lesson from our last canyon sunrise?? took a good half hour - at SUB-FREEZING temperatures - to get the ball of burning gas up and over the mounds of rock. I took pictures of my toes. and the sunrise too.

Hit every other overlook in the park before noon. yeah. we're motivated. what can I say.

Headed over to Zion.

John again claimed that he needed to do his applications ... so he stayed at the campsite. Of which there were only two left, out of the 200 usually there, for the record. We took the shuttle in.

The idea was to hit up a quick trail today, and do the real hike - Angels Landing - tomorrow as a group. Passed the monoliths. Passed the museum. headed in about as far as you can go ... in ... to ... the ... Narrows!

you hike in a mile, till you get to a stream. which is really a small river. and then hike up the river. until you get to places where it is so narrow that only shafts of light can get in. pretty cool idea. still young in the afternoon. tons of time.

hike in - not bad at all ... paved even!

hike up the stream - more than expected ... between 1 and 2 miles of slippery rocks, scaling the sides to avoid deep water, and trudging through frequently to change sides.

signage - good ... there really isn't anfwhere else to go. you're at the bottom of a canyon hole, in a river. lots of "flash flood zone! seek higher ground immediately if water becomes uncommonly rapid, or turns cloudy!" - pshaw. cowards.

pictures - decent ... by the time we actually reached tho Narrows, it was getting late - sun was only really hitting one side of the top canyon rim... nevt time plan for noon.

hike back out - rising water. center water more rapid. starting to get darker. everyone heading in is turning around. ...good timing.

back to john. pretended that he had been working ... but I smelled 4400 in the air ...

since they had called for rain - 70% chance all day long - and there was already signs of potential flooding, John and I set up a tarp over the campfire area. we did not tarp up the tents. we did not dig drainage ditches. we did not park the car in a location to enable tying the tarp off to it. We should have known better...

Down in the Slots ...

Discussion - is it Grand Staircase, or Escalante? Aren't they the same thing? So then ... why are there different signs for each one on the highway, but on the map they are listed as one?

Bryce - beautiful. Possibly my favorite canyon in terms of aesthetic. hiked down into the slots. probably not the best name in the world. we were down in the slots. doesn't sound all that great. kind of like our new name for dinner and lunch combined (a common meal on the road) ... dunch. we were hungry and had to eat dunch yesterday. not really appetizing is it?

hiked for a few hours, you know, to keep the overall stamina up. tried to climb a hoodoo ... turns out that they are much less solid than you might - wait ... did you think they were solid? ... I did - think. almost fell and broke my elbow. after only a few yards up. so I didn't keep climbing. strange choice, I know.

Great campground in the forest. tied the whole bottom of the tent securely in the tarp ... like a huge diaper ... because it looked like it was really going to rain. of course it didn't. if we put on shorts and Hawaiian shirts it would snow. that's why we keep on thermals and fleeces ... or it could be because of the pervading cold and wind.

Bridges. Hanksville. Showers.

2:45 a.m. no. seriously. where is the shovel.

packed camp. back into Natural Bridges. nice hike down into the valley. lots of switchbacks, some wood ladders on the cliff faces, random railings bolted into the rock, where there weren't enough hand-holds - and where it was too steep to put in stairs.

I Hiked up through one of the natural bridges. took almost an hour. turns out that when you are hanging with one set of fingertips, and trying to put your foot where your other set of fingertips just was - you take the time to make sure you're really ready, before making the next move.

stopped when I couldn't really see the group any more. and when they shouted to me to stop. couple good pictures that we call "where's Eli" ... if only i had been wearing a striped shirt. Oh yeah ... and when that huge slab of rock slid out from under me near the top ledge. that was fun. did you know that the rangers rescue hundreds and hundred of people from the top of cliff faces and arches every year, because it's exponentially harder to climb back down crumbly sandstone than it is to power up it.

In an attempt to hit as many Utah N.P. systems as possible - stopped through Capitol Reef. Not in Salt Lake City. and no water. not even a ring of coral. sooo .... the name? apparently it's a new park.

Hanksville! woot! cool name! 1 operable gas station, and two places to eat food ... note that I don't say restaurants. population ... a dozen? Two kids that really should have been in school. for more reasons than that it was a weekday. let's just say huge red sports coat, DARE (to bike naked) t-shirt, ripped jeans, baseball cap backwards, bleached blonde crew cut, huge workboots, coherent speech?, adding?, 15 yr old female.

A lot more driving. because that's what the rest of Utah is - that they haven't made into a national park - highway.

found a little RV park in the middle of the desert. with a swimming pool. and a huge common lawn. free showers. flush toilets. flat sites. water spigots. and an older couple who run the shop and register who could not possibly have taken longer to ring us up. seriously. over half an hour to purchase - not to sign up for, decide on, allocate to - a campsite, just to ring it up.

free showers ... it's like a beacon of hope in the darkness.

Hike.

5:47 a.m. wake up on the lawn of a picnic area in an RV park in Moab. on a slight slope. with no air mattress. fully clothed.

6:08 a.m. completely packed and ready to go.

6:10 a.m. ... attempt to drive through the entrance back out, before they open back up for fees ...

6:11 a.m. even though the sign says that the place doesn't open until 8 a.m. - sure enough there is an old-timer there already awake and moving - who is more than ready to take our money.

6:16 a.m. nice little chat with the gent, wherein several great quotes were taken: "That'll be 16 dollars ... plus 'nother 1.40 for the damn gov'nor" , "Lookin for breakfast? There's a little diner down th' road three lights, on th' left hand side, across from the Ramada. They've got great service, really friendly people waiting tables, nice atmosphere ... hell ... you might even enjoy their food"

6:38 a.m. gas and breakfast snacks.

7:02 a.m. Arches N.P. - visitor's center to fill the water cube.

7:12 a.m. stopped to see the sunrise.

7:37 a.m. sun actually rose. frozen fingers. lesson for the future: the sun rises later if you're in the canyons ... stay in the car until the last minute.

8:02 a.m. Balanced Rock. discussion about the concept that really all of these rocks are balancing ... who decided this one was balancing better than the rest?

8:34 a.m. began a hiking loop to see several of the more famous arches in Arches N.P. easy end, it could be a 2 mi/1.5 hour hike, hard end, a 6 mi/3.5 hour hike.

11:14 a.m. after losing all signs of a trail (including any trail markers, consistent footprint path, or groups of similar hikers) I left the group to go on a scouting mission. nearly 45 minutes later, and over a mile of looping over, in, and out of fingers, narrows, and slopes, I found an arch that looked like it should be on the map. It wasn't. But I hiked everyone up to it, and subsequently found the trail while they rested.

4:04 p.m. end. over six hours of hiking, climbing, actual running, and nearly dying in the heat. 10 miles of sand, rock, cliff, arches, and ftrail (fake trail ... like fleather).

4:05 p.m. noticed that the hike is named the Devil's Trial. good call. next time, a few trail markings within a 15 minute radius of any given point on the map would be nice ... if you wanted to stay on the trail that is. Or is that not the point of a trail?

4:10 p.m. decision to screw Canyonlands. let's sit in the car with AC for a while.

6:48 p.m. Bridges N.M. looks cool. oh. what's that? the campground is full? right. of course it is. Overflow camping is 25 miles down an old dirt road into the wilderness, and all human waste must be disposed of in a 6inch or deeper hole, no fires, and it's mostly covered in large loose gravel? sounds peachy.

7:24 p.m. camp. yep. gravel pit.

7:53 p.m. total darkness. fun with at flashlight.

8:23 p.m. where did I put the shovel?

Hike of Potential Dismemberment or Fines.

Goodbye civilization for a bit (or at least, so we thought...) and Hello Utah park system!! Lets go hike a canyon!

But first this 6 hour drive to get there...

right. forgot that Utah is kinda spread out, with n.o.t.h.i.n.g in between. I mean besides cow ranches. and a view of the mountains.

So - of course we hit Canyonlands N.P. and cruise up into it about 53 miles. great scenery, crazy winding road that takes you right up to the edge of enormous Buttes ond then whips you back over the top to the other side ... posted speed limit was 25 ... with recommendations of 15 mph or lower. silly mortals. and I wasn't even driving.

Now ... the campsite that we wanted to stay at - turns out that even though it is the main one at the park, there are only 12 sites. total. and they were all reserved hours before we even got there. you might figure that someone would tell us when we passed into the park. or that they would put up a camp Full sign. or that a ranger would politely recommend that we go stake camp first, before traversing over 50 miles of severe terrain in a leisurely fashion, taking photographs, instead of taking care of task one: set up camp. ... you would think.

So - instead, with about 2 hours of sunlight left, we decided to try to hike 2.6 miles out and down one of the Buttes to a campsite planted square in the middle of the canyon floor.

Half an hour later, loaded down with all of the gear that we could possibly not do without, more food than we could realistically eat in the next 14 hours, about 2 gallons of drinking water total, no map, but personal ID and a cell phone for each person, we set out. Hit the trailhead, set a decent 20 minute mile pace - considering that we were laden with all of our gear, and had not done any moderately serious hiking yet. Set off in the direction of the trail ... and promptly found that there were no trail markings. After several minutes of scouting ahead (since there were footprints damn near everywhere, we couldn't use that approach) I found us some trail markers ... and we continued. Picture taking and scaling random boulders to pose atop took some extra time ... but over a mile later ... and with about 45 minutes of sun left, we hit the edge of a 1500 ft Butte. with no way down. sheer cliff face on all sides. no more trail markers. We checked with a few fellow hikers from Holland, and they confirmed that the other trial which we could possibly have stumbled upon instead, they had already been on, and takes you to a different Butte ... the trail just ends.

okay ...

with binoculars, we could see the actual campsite ... easily 2 miles off in the distance ... and no way down.

After a good 15 minutes of me running along the entire edge of the canyon in search of an elusive way to scamper down, and a call in to Uncle Bill to find out that the fine for disobeying park regulations (inclusive of camping outside of a designated campground area) is $5000 dollars, we decided to head back to the SUV and sleep in the parking lot. Almost no sunlight - as it had already set below the mountain range, a solid mile of hiking across the top of a Butte to go, all of our gear to trek back out ...

when we followed the markings back in ... and ended up next to the wrong side of the trailhead sign ... we knew that the Hollandaise had been wrong (pass the blame). This had not been the trail/ to the campsite. at all.

5 minutes of searching the opposite side of the rim for a trail marker ... I found one. one. set down in a crevise, between two boulders. and then one more, partway down the cliff face. That said ... the actual trail was really nice, with huge steps cut into the side, moderate switchbacks, and a great view the whole way down. But ... you basically had to know that it was there in the first place.

Back at the car.

in the dark.

with gear that now smelled like real campers.

multiple cans of vegetables and graham crackers.

and the proposition of sleeping 4 people in one car, where every available space not already dedicated to seating had already been used for some sort of luggage or apparel.

TomTom - so newly put into play (gift from Colin) said that the nearest places for food or camp were outside the park ... Moab ... 50+ miles away. back along that road. in the dark. sheer cliffs. Apparently we lived. I credit a large part of it to luck - and the rest to that John knew there was pizza at the end, so he just couldn't die.

we may never go back into Canyonlands. ever.

Oldschool Phones and Spirals.

Brunch with Colin! 'Training Table' ... with the name and as he said that it was somewhere that a lot of base people go, we were expecting a military themed experience ... but - no! Sweet little diner-esque place without waitresses! More on that: we had just been having a conversation about same of the terrible service that we had gotten - due to that we smell like road, look like campy campers, and our age group doesn't usually tip that well. Anywho - you sit down at these booths, where ever you want, menus are on one end of the booth - and so is a 1960s brown phone ...

Supposedly, you pick up the phone to order ... so ... of course I had to test this. And yes! the phone rings - a cook plugs in to an enormous switchboard in the back - and they answer! No milkshakes. So I hung up.

Order - go get the food - bring whatever condiment bottles back you want - sit down - eat away! Actually really decent food! great fries! great burgers ... all in all, an excellent choice!

Back to Colin's, and somehow managed to resist the chance to sit on a real couch, with a 65 inch SRXD Sony TV, in a real apartment, with super cold AC, and collapse. We did leave John there ... under the impression that he was going to work on his application for med school ... suuure.

So the rest of us ventured off into the primitive Utah wilderness - following a two page script of directions that Colin made in his room while we were all sedated - trying to subvertly lead us all to the 'public shooting grounds', while seeming to be leading us to the famed 'Spiral Jetty' of Art History textbooks, out among the Salt Flats. After a good hour of driving, we found ourselves at the end of a 'road' in Salt Flats. The only reasn to call it a road, is because other cars had driven it before us. Let us here-to-for refer to it as the 'boulder strewn car-sized pathway of axle mangling holes and mayhem'. Colin just smiled. He secretly knew all along. That's the real reason we didn't take his car, even though there were only four of us total. Diabolical, yet practical.

So, we found this 'Jetty' ... load of nothing. barely a whole curve left of the spiral ... long walk out to get to the end, and just a huge salt flat of nothingness. I mean ... we walked out to the end and stmped in salt puddles ... but kinda disappointing ... hey ... wait ... does the road keep going out that way ... ? ... is that even a road?

okay ... I guess we'll find out ... it's an SUV, right?

Hey! A spiral jetty! Woohoo! In the middle of the Salt Flats (which apparently is one of the locations that Norton gets thier salt...). sweet! ... now, is there anywhere to turn around?

Turned around ... without poppig a tire ... somehow ... Colin walked a half mile off the road to get the tourists who decided to park on the road because they might hurt their SUV by pulling off. Like it wouldn't have already bottomed out on the actual 'road'. That done - carpets, couches, cool air, complementary wireless, in Colin's apt await!

Hibachi dinner - supercool - flying shrimp, fire volcanoes, eggs and knives twirling, and sushi bundles! And let me tell you ... two full meals in one day, AC, and a fluffy carpet to sleep on ... we were all in heaven! We almost didn't leave the next morning ... and almost cut a piece of carpet out from under his couch to take with us ... I mean, it'd get shipped back when we were done ...

Barbados or Park City?

Bear Lake!! Imagine, if you will, driving through the barren wasteland that is the desert of middle Utah - and suddenly, as if through a dehydrated mirage, Barbados springs up in the distance. At first, you're not quite sure ... is that just a strange toxic wasteland at the base of that mountain over there? Or is it a function of how the heat differential bends the light from the blue sky over a flat distance, due to the fact that blue light bends more easily than red when shifting through a medium change, according to the principles expressed in Snell's Law. Recall that c=(lambda)*f and that n1*sin(theta1)=n2*sin(theta2), so if we are moving from a high density medium to a low density medium light will bend away from the normal. right? just checking. pay attention - these things actually do get used in real life ... or at least in my head, in real life.

So, you get closer and closer, and it turns out that yes! There really is an enormous, crystal clear, turquoise, tropical lake in the middle of Utah! And since everything in Utah revolves around private clubs and mini resorts, there was no real way to access it!

... no way that is ... unless you were willing to got a little dirty on the way. Road signs passed on the way in - 'MUD AHEAD', '5MPH MAX SPEED', 'ROAD DAMAGE'. But the lake was amazing! We had to restrain ourselves from camping there (on the far edge of some farmer's wheat field), just because it is NOT Barbados. And even though it looks amazing and fun - we don't have enough money to go Skidoo racing for a dollar PER MINUTE!

Barbados - goodbye. Salt Lake City - hello.

Shout out to Lee Tucker! Woot! Clubbing Utah style!
... and to using Brent's future room as a crash pad!

The only thing that you have to remember when heading downtown in Utah is that 'Yes, I am a member.' and 'Yes, I already paid my membership fee.' and don't look at the walls of the bar - keep your eyes straight ahead, like you go there all the time, and immediately order a drink ... but not two at a time. And not odd numbered shots - they charge you more than for an even number. And remember that a shot really is 1-1.5 ounces here ... pony shots ... and don't expect a lot of fancy bartending bottle tricks ... even the Jose is shot out of a fountain gun! When we were done, we had all been acknowledged members of a good half a dozen private clubs. Next time Tucker, let's start at the top of the hill in Park City and work down, instead of the other way around!

Yellowstone and Tetons!

Yellowstone.

basically, the pictures say it all!

:)

oh yeah, and then we went to Grand Tetons. Just think of the shots that we got with Yellowstone during the day, and Grand Tetons for the sunset. oh yeah.

but seriously, I'm about 10 days behind here still, and a picture says a thousand words. So, since I usually write at least a thousand words, I'll just upload a few pictures later!

Tracking ...

The 32 beans - turned out wonderful - diced up a yellow onion, minced some garlic, seasoned ... and the half pound of bacon may also have helped! Some bacon wrapped chicken and a side of Parmesan noodles made the meal a success! ... of course the beans didn't cook for as long as I would have liked - but the flavor was all there. Ended up buying some firewood for a campfire ... I think they must super-dry it in a furnace, then infuse it with gasoline ... because it always burns instantly and suddenly the whole bundle is gone! At least it lasted long enough to roast the chicken on!

really, really, cold though. i.e. as soon as the fire was not roaring, we all left and went to bed. Cold. luckily, I have a super warm mummy bag (with built in pillow!) so I fell right asleep and woke up early! Well ... technically, Meg woke up before me, but she has an alarm, since she wanted to go see the sunrise - which we did - and everyone agreed that it was too cold to stay awake - even with the glorious day, so they headed back to camp.

Sunrise coming up over the lake, I figured, why not head down to the lake? Needless to say, it is significantly colder ON the water, than just looking AT the water! I had to keep my battery under my armpit to make sure it was warm enough to take a picture when I needed it! So, after wandering around on the lake for a good half hour, I came across a large fresh track! Bear! Sweet - we had heard that there was a mother bear and cub in our general camp area, and to watch out for it - so of course I followed the main track for a few yards ... and what did I find ... another smaller set of tracks! Well - now the game was on!

I tracked them up the lakeside, up a small overhang, across the main road, and kind of lost them there ... wandered through the woods for a little while and found a set of tracks that looked relatively fresh ... that day for sure ... but definitely older ... and followed those deeper into the woods, coming across several major sleeping areas, places where they'd eaten, and where ALL the trees were covered in bear hair easily fifteen feet up! matted in bear hair. followed tho tracks in amongst the trees, out into some fields, under trees, found pretty fresh scat, kept tracking.

Almost died when a jackrabbit lept out from a log behind me and thumped down right next to me. I didn't even move the camera.

Came to a conclusion after tracking for over an hour in the woods - bears are lazy. Occasionally I would lose the trail - and all you have to do to find it again is look for the easiest path that leads away from where you are. Go over a tree? nope. Through a shrub? nope. Back up the path a little ways to level side trail? yep.

Finally, after about an hour and a half, I had followed the moderately fresh tracks up to some very new ones! Excellent! I followed these with renewed relish, some ketchup and a touch of deli mustard. over a field, through the woods, across a road, and right up to ... the lake. yep. tracked myself right back to the original prints.

On the one hand ... I was pretty impressed that I did manage to actually track that much. But a little disappointed that I didn't get a glimpse of the bear ... until I took a closer look at the only clean set of tracks at the lake ... and counted the toe/claws ... and realized that I was one toe short of a bear in my quick initial assessment ... I had been tracking an enormous wolf! good thing my tracking skills aren't better honed ...

Roadwork and 32 Bean

Drive out looked like VT ... until the trees suddenly end and you are in huge hills and rocks ... and then those end and you are in plains for as far as you can see ... then those end and you are back in mountains ... crazy geology.

On the way in to Yellowstone we saw a lovely Moose couple sauntering along the side of the road. Really saunter is the only way to describe a moose meander - basically it's a way of saying, 'hey, I'm bigger than your SUV, I weigh as much as a large boulder, and have nowhere pressing to be.' nice couple. they said hello, and then continued up the ridge trail to munch some buds.

We then spent a good 45 minutes hanging out at on a random hillside on the road, because the road was 'damaged' and they were doing construction ... before a high volume weekend ... during the late day, when everyone goes in to campsites ... with One Pilot Car that has to lead you up and back and up and back, one group at a time ... because we can't be trusted to drive? thanks guys. great timing.

Now we have to set up the tent in the dark. And I was hoping to make a delicious 32 bean stew, in the still young twilight, over a gregarious fire, while musing on life's great simplicities and noting the plentiful wildlife - that just might, if I started in a decent key, break into song with me!

... ummm. dark though. and frigid. 32 bean over the campstove?

VT = Ringside Seating.

Scenery aside - since it was beautiful, and there is no need yet to go into detail repeating that - the additions to Mt Rushmore need to be heavily credited. 56 Million dollars spent on parking, museum, theatre, gift shop, etc ... but the cream of the project was the new Presidential Walkway. A long open topped corridor lined on both sides by huge square granite columns. on each side of the columns was an inscription of the state represented, and the state flag flying above it. through all of this, you could still see Mt Rushmore beyond and above - rather excellent cropping effect. Meandering up the pathway, we spied a handful of the states that we had already passed through, Jersey about halfway down ... no VT, but we weren't really searching through both sides ...

and then... having reached the end John and I turned (always waiting on those girls ) and the very first column - the side facing Mt Rushmore, right side, - VERMONT! wooooooooooooot! we get the view and the public location. We figured the granite must have came from VT, and they put 'best spot for flag' on the contract!

Walked up the requisite pathway, tried to pick Washington's nose in a picture, almost fell off the guardrailing doing so ... ankle a little sensitive still, remember? That Borglum ... crazy bugger ...
gutsy. or Gutzon ...
Gutzon Borglum
interesting ...
impressive ... and he did it under a million dollars total. hard to imagine anyone doing any sculpture now for under a million ... I mean, we have a huge bean for 25 mill. Think about what it would cost to carve a mountain now-a-days?

Speaking of which - Crazy Horse! You think that regular Americans want everything bigger and better, and monuments like Rushmore and the Washington Obelisk are over the top ... just think what the REAL Americans must want. That's right, the American Indians are taking not just one cliff face, but the entire Mountain, and turning it into a sculpture of the Lakota War Chief! When completed the Crazy Horse mountain carving will be 641 feet long by 563 feet high. Crazy Horse's completed head is over 87 feet high. The horse's head, currently the focus of work on the mountain, is 219 feet or 22 stories high. ........Mt Rushmore could fit inside Crazy Horse's head easily!

Now - the original premise was for a monument to Crazy Horse, and the American Indian in general, and to show the world that they have pride and resources as well. Cool. Fine. Built by people inspired, for people to be inspired by. Also good. Completely funded by donations from the public ... also a decent ideal ... since that means that only people who believe in it give money ... but to turn down, Twice, Government donations of 10 Million dollars in grant money ... that just seems a little too prideful, and self defeating. It has taken over half a decade to carve the face. It will probably take another fifty years or more to do the horse head ... sure, that sounds awe inspiring ... but look at the master plan for the monument http://www.crazyhorse.org/story/future.shtml easily Billions of dollars just in construction costs! why not get a little hand up, so that by the time the real museum is built the artifacts are still salvageable!

Just an idea. Stubborn Americans.

Pulled into the 'Rod and Gun' campground in the Black Hills - actually one of our best campsites yet - and foraged for wood! Since we left the hatchet in Pittsburgh the larger logs were ravaged in a beaver-like fashion by our trusty hammer, until they resolved into manageable pieces. Met a couple from Minnesota and I won a $5 bet by officially coining the term 'Felamper' in normal conversation. Etimology: fellow camper. I think they just thought that I was crazy.

Played chubby bunny. oh yes. I won. Come on - did you really think that anyone else had a bigger mouth? Pictures to come ... one of these days we need to hit a random spot of highspeed wireless ... because $5 for 15 minutes of mediocre net-cafe service is not acceptable ...

16.5 hours ...

The original setting : Chicago, IL.
The plan : drive until the rain (which has just started) stops, and we can set up dry camp.
The drivers : me.
The time : 4:24 pm

I had driven into Chicago in the first place, and to be more than fair, the ladies drove most of the way from Pittsburgh. so I don't count that in the overall timing.

It began simply enough. find somewhere dry. but lurking in the back of everyone's minds was that no matter where we stopped for night' the next day would be spent almost exclusively driving the remainder of the 14+ hour stretch from Chicago to the Badlands. ... and a small demon said to me ... what if you just did it all tonight while it's dark? it can't really be that bad ... you stay up all night plenty ... just kick it up a notch and play 'born to be wild' as much as possible. think of the time saved. and the small angel said ... yeah - why not - who wants to set up camp in the dark anyway!

Because by the time we made it far enough out of the rain for everyone to feel happy about it not raining us out during the night, it was well into night. John was ready to start drinking, Meg was tired, and Erin can't see at night ... so when we stopped at a convenience/liquor/gas station the only possible scenario played out.

So at 2:36 in the morning I was the official sober spotter for the game 'drink when you see a speed limit sign' ... turns out that the highways in Minnesota post them in pairs on both sides of the road ... it got to the point that we needed another game if I was going to have company for much longer. 20 questions turned out to provide over 2 hours of puzzling pleasure ... everyone somehow picked really good ones ... shirt button, asparagus, griffin, bat, tire, clothespin, window .... tons more ... we went two cycles through the car without anyone hitting the object ... these were the ones that I still somehow remember, so I figure we got a few of these.

5:05 a.m. crashed the early-bird special regulars at the Blue Diner somewhere in South Dakota. I'm not usre if they were upset or not. we were loud. and possibly obnoxious. and less than sober. and looking very strung out. so they were nice to us - except for selling me an m&ms cookie that must have been sitting on the counter since the cold war, because I could barely break it in half to attempt to eat it.

I had two 32 ounce Vitamin drinks. They ate food. bad idea. food = sleep at 5a.m., and they really should have known better ... or maybe that's why an enormous blue can called the Blue Demon, easily as tall as John's head (because we took a picture of the comparison) was also purchased.

by 5:26 they were all so far into food comas that we resorted to telling the worst jokes that we knew as fast as possible to stay awake.

5:34 they took shots of the energy drink to regain consciousness, and for a fleeting few minutes were wide awake and unsettlingly full of energy. same singing may even have spontaneously occurred ... I'm not really sure, as I started to find it hard to understand why the world was still black.

5:42 they all passed out. cold. logs to the world.

6:34 ........the thing about staying up all night and driving that is different from staying up writing a paper, or playing video games, or hanging with friends is that you can't really look away. ever. you are stuck, in a seat, holding a wheel pretty much straight for hundreds of miles, driving through the dark of Minnesota, and there is really nothing else that you can do to occupy your mind elsewhere ... and really ... if you did manage to ... you are supposed to be driving. snap out of it. It's the not leeking away that eventually does it I think. you can use your mirrors, glance out the window, but some part of your eye is constantly assessing the road. So, when I saw an Indian run into the road and fall under my wheels without making a sound, and then thought that the lines on the exit ramp were a car stopping in front of me ... I pulled off the road and curled up in a little ball in the front seat. 20 minute power nap, and a jog back and forth, up and down the isles of the gas station, and I was set to keep going!

8:46 a.m. Erin wakes up. like a crazed Tasmanian devil. Apparently, the caffeine and sugar had not actually reached through the food layer the first time round. Somehow, looking back and seeing her literally bouncing off of the car walls caused a wave to pass through my optical processing plant. I started to only hear her in little squeaking noises ... possibly this was actually the sounds that she was making ... but no one else was awake to verify. On the off chance that the chirping and waving lines on the road were fictions of my delusion, and not real, I pulled off at a rest stop somewhere in the western half of South Dakota and promptly fell out of the car and collapsed by the side of the road.

9:12 still awake. why? do I want breakfast? where are we going? was that just the South Dakota Hall of Fame ... a one story library sized structure, haphazardly tossed by the side of the national highway? weird. South Dakota looks much different when there's light on it.

The final setting : Information center, South Dakota.
The plan : drive until someone lucid finds a campsite.
The drivers : anyone not named Eli.
The time : 9:24 ... and still not at the Badlands.